Of Heaven and Earth

Hope

2012-01-21T13:40:00.003-06:00

We will be singing "In Christ Alone" this Sunday at my church, and the words to the first verse have been continually running through my head and heart since we rehearsed it Wed night.

"In Christ alone, my hope is found;
He is my light, my strength, my song;
This cornerstone, this solid ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm;
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease;
My comforter, my All in all, here in the love of Christ I stand."

When we've sung this song in the past, I've always relished the last 2 verses. (Really, though, every single verse in this song is completely awesome and SO powerful.) But after this past year, this first verse stands out to me the most. My hope is not found in my family, in circumstances going the way I want them to, or even in whether God answers my prayers the way I want Him to. My hope and your hope is found IN CHRIST. ALONE. The word "hope" is a weird word to me, that I often confuse with faith. It's also a very important & meaningful word to me. My middle name is Hope. We buried Rusty in the "Garden of Hope". The passage Kevin shared with me the day after Rusty died that I have clung to ever since is Lamentations 3:21 - 33. That first verse says, "This I recall to mind, therefore I have HOPE" (emphasis mine). I could be wrong, but here's how I think of hope versus faith. Faith is the unbreakable assurance that all God's promises are true. Sometimes, though, storms come and shake our faith. The waves get so big that it's hard to fix our eyes on the Author and Finisher of our faith, and we get tempted to look down at the waves instead. I think hope is that expectation that keeps us looking in the direction we last saw faith. Faith is the beacon shining from the lighthouse. Hope is the instinct that compels us forward into the storm, in the direction we last remember seeing the light shining, even when we can't see a thing and all we can feel is pain and confusion. When people lose all hope, like my brother did, they fall under the storm-ravaged waves. Faith never stopped shining as a beacon, but they lost the expectation (or hope) of ever finding it again and they lost their bearings.

But just as Christ is the Author and Finisher or Perfecter of our faith, this song reminds us that He is also our only source of hope. He is steadfast even through the fiercest storm. The heights of His love for us are limitless. The depths of His peace are unfathomable. When we cling to Him alone as our source of hope, our fears are stilled, and our strivings cease. For me, it makes me stop striving to figure out the answers to all my questions about Rusty's death. It makes me stop wrestling with God's sovereignty, and to be still and rest in His comfort and love. I'm tempted to say, "I can't stop and rest now! I have to keep my hand on the tiller. I have to control the rudder and make sure this vessel is heading the direction I want it to." But Jesus is the Captain. He's at the helm. If I let go and rest in Him, and put my hope in Him alone, I will find that He always, ALWAYS guides me safely to the harbor He has prepared for me. So what are you putting your hope in today? Are you ready to let it go and cling to Jesus alone? I can promise you it's always the best choice.

Your First Birthday in Heaven

2011-11-23T23:56:00.000-06:00

I’ve been dreading this day - your first birthday without you.
We’ve never been big on birthdays
But you’re still supposed to be here for them
So we can call you and tell you how much we love you
And try to make plans to take you to dinner.
But you’re not here, and we don’t know what to do.
How do we honor the day of your birth,
when what weighs on our minds is the day of your death?

But then I remember - since you’re not here, it means you’re in Heaven.
Not based on some empty hope,
But on the blessed assurance that you belong to Jesus.
You called on Him to save you, and said how much you loved Him.
So what birthday plans do they have in Heaven?
Or is everyday so amazing, that a birthday would only get in the way?
Do they instead celebrate the day of your arrival,
the day you were born into Eternity?

For us, it will be a hard day. For you, it will be the best day.
You can’t beat birthdays in Heaven.
Your first birthday with no sorrow, no regret, no disappointment.
We don’t get to spend the day with you,
But you get to spend the day with Jesus.
You’re surrounded by His glory, wrapped in His embrace
You hear the sound of voices lifted up in praise, and see beauty beyond compare
You’re experiencing everything you were created to enjoy.

So while we are sad, wishing to see your face again.
We can’t help but also be filled with an unexplained peace;
Knowing you’re where you were created to be
And that this year your gift is that you’re finally free.
So despite all our heartache
We wouldn’t change a thing
We’ll choose to rejoice through our pain
Because you’re spending your first birthday in Heaven.

2 Months Today....

2011-05-22T22:27:00.003-05:00

Two months ago today since Rusty died...It doesn't seem possible that it's been 2 months. They say time heals all wounds. Really, only God can heal those wounds. And He is, and I'm thankful. But the thought I had today is that time only seems to be mocking our loss. Part of me feels guilty for moving on, and leaving that horrible night in the past. I do realize it's still really early in this journey of grief, and I probably don't really know what I'm talking about compared with those who have been down a similar path. But there's just this part of me that keeps thinking, "Wait! Time, please stop or slow down or something. I need to stay here and try to make sense of what has happened. I need to do his memory justice. I'm not ready to move forward." Yet, time just keeps passing along, refusing to acknowledge my loss, my pain, or my confusion. And just how, exactly, does Time expect to "heal my wounds" when the more time that passes, the more I realize how much I miss my brother?

And there's already been some of the dreaded "holiday" or special family moments that have come about as a result of Time's unrelenting persistence to keep marching forward: Easter, Mother's Day, David's Kindergarten graduation. That last one was the hardest for me. I kept thinking, "I'm not ready to do this without Rusty! I want Time to just not make me go there yet!" But Time didn't listen or care. It dragged me through each of those painful events anyway. Oh, and just for kicks, this year Rusty's birthday will be on Thanksgiving. Double whammy.

On the other hand, though, I'm also ready to be done with this deep grieving process. Everyone says the first year is the hardest, and so I'm ready to be past that. I think this is the selfish side of me. Or the part that wants to escape the reality of Rusty's death. I keep thinking I want to volunteer and get involved with a couple of ministries that are near and dear to my heart - and ones that I believe God is calling me to be involved in at some point. But a couple of weeks ago when I discussed it with a mentor who happens to be over both ministries, he told me I'm not ready - that I'm too vulnerable right now, and that I need to give myself more time to heal. Part of me is afraid that as I stay here and learn how to heal from this grief, this trauma, those ministry opportunities will pass me by. I know that's a lie, and that if God really is calling me to those ministries, then His timing will be perfect.

Ah, but I just stumbled on the truth of the matter. God's timing. Time isn't Sovereign. God is. Time is merely His tool to accomplish His purposes. I just read this week in Isaiah 38 about God giving Hezekiah more time, and as proof of His promise, He made the sun move backward - completely displaying His power and authority over Time itself. The next day I read the famous passage from Ezekiel 3 about there is a time for everything. I need those reminders. When I'm fighting against Time moving on or not moving quickly enough, I'm really fighting God's Sovereign plan and control over my life. He could stop time, if that was what would be best for me. He could fast forward us all into next year, but I'm sure I would miss the wonderful things I will learn from Him and about Him in the midst of the hardest moments.

So I have a choice to make: continue to fight against time and all the ways it isn't working for me, or to recognize that all of this happened and is happening by God's will, and that there is a plan in all of it for my family and me. For our good and His glory. I can choose to rest in the Lord or I can continue to wrestle. Bottom line: I can choose to release control to Him, or I can hold onto my illusion of control until my knuckles turn white. And so tonight, I choose to "cease striving and know that He is God." (from Ps. 46:10) I choose to trust that His timing is perfect.

The Pain of Separation

2011-04-24T22:34:00.002-05:00

So we made it through our first "holiday" since Rusty died. For me, it had it's sad moments. It wasn't as hard as it could have been simply because I don't have a lot of recent memories of Rusty related to Easter. We just always ended up doing different things that day. However, there were several times, especially watching the kids hunt for eggs, that I got teary-eyed thinking how much he would have enjoyed watching them and how he would have added another whole level of fun. I kept hearing his voice run through my head, and picturing his awesome smile as if he had been there with us.

My mom had a much harder day. One reason is because at her church, they sang "Because He Lives". That was the song God gave her when Rusty was born with a brain hemorrhage, and we sang it at his funeral. I cannot imagine how heart-breaking that was for her. Poor Momma.

Tonight, Mom, Hugh (my step-dad), and I went to Briarwood Presbyterian Church to watch their Easter performance of "Saviour". It's a modern oratorio (lots of music). They had a full choir and orchestra, and ballet dancers. It was beautiful! I cried during the first song, called, "My Heart Belongs to You". It's basically a love song between God and Adam. One of the lines that stood out to me is of "God" singing: The message of My song will always be true: My heart belongs to you." By the end of the song, Adam is singing it in response back to God. It's gorgeous. And it made me see God's love for mankind in a fresh way. He created us so that He could give His heart to us. And then, when Adam and Eve chose sin, not only did we lose that intimate relationship with God, but He lost it with us. We always focus on what Man lost that day, but what about what God lost that day? He lost His love - the one He had given His heart to. That relationship was ripped away from Him, suddenly, violently - like losing someone to death.

You see, I've been listening to a lie recently. A lie that said that God doesn't really know how I feel. He hasn't really lost someone to death like I have. Yes, His Son suffered and died, and I know that was heart-wrenching, but He knew that in 3 days, He would be alive again. Part of what makes losing Rusty so hard is just that thought of all the time it will probably take before I see him again. That not knowing a time reference is so frustrating to me. And so I thought that God couldn't relate to that part of grief - the seemingly endless longing. But that song tonight made me realize how wrong I was. When sin came, God experienced profound loss. Us. And even though He already had a plan in place to redeem us, He knew it would be millennia before that redemption would be fully realized and He would once again enjoy intimate, unbroken relationship with the ones He had created to give His heart to. How heartbroken He must have been. How much must He long for us even now? Yes, once we are saved we have a measure of relationship with Him, but it's not like it was in the Garden - walking side by side; talking face to face.

Since Rusty died, I've been pondering the story of Lazarus. In one of the verses, it says Jesus was very troubled. (It's a few verses before the famous "Jesus wept" verse.) I've always wondered why. I know people have taught that He was troubled because of how grieved Mary and Martha were, and I agree with that. But I've always thought there was more to it. Could it be that seeing them grieving the loss of their brother reminded Him of His own loss at the Fall? Could it be that He was very troubled because the God-head part of Him was missing us - grieving the loss of relationship He had so enjoyed in the Garden?

Part of me is having a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that He really does love me that much. He is passionate for us, and He loves us with an everlasting love! And, the truth is, He knows EXACTLY how I feel. Because He has felt that same way. About me. And about you. He misses you, especially if you don't know Jesus. He is grieving over your separation from Him. So many people have told me since Rusty died that they wish they could do something to help. Well, there is a way to help God. You can come to Him. Receive Him as your Savior and Lord. Begin the journey of being restored to that perfect relationship with Him. So that one day, we can once again walk with God in the cool of the day. And Rusty will be right there with us, too.

The Day I Met Jesus

2011-04-20T15:31:00.003-05:00

Today is a very special day to me, because one year ago today, I met Jesus. No, not in a salvation-experience kind of way, but in a face-to-face kind of way. And it changed my life.

One night in late March or early April of 2010, something prompted me to pray, "Jesus, I know I will see You and see Your face and feel Your arms around me one day. But if there is any way at all for me to feel your arms embrace me and to see Your face on this side of Heaven, then please let me!" As soon as I prayed it, I thought to myself that it was the most ridiculous thing to pray. I didn't think I had any faith for that prayer to be answered, and I promptly forgot about it within a couple of days.

Fast forward from that point 3 weeks. I was on a vacation in Gatlinburg with just Preston. It was wonderful. One afternoon, we went to see "The Miracle" at the Miracle Theater in Pigeon Forge. It's a live musical stage-production of the life of Christ - told in part from Lucifer's (Satan's) perspective. (That may sound hokey, but trust me, it's not.) It was SO powerful. One of the things that struck me throughout the whole show was the guy who played Jesus seemed SO much like Jesus. It seemed to be more than just excellent acting. It was like an anointing was on him. The light and the love that radiated from that man was just...incredible! I kept thinking, "Man, I sure would like to meet him. Just to see what he's like out of character." Well, at the intermission, they announced that the cast would be in the lobby after the show. I was excited - and nervous for some reason.

So after the show, which was in and of itself such an inspiring and faith-building experience, Preston and I head out to the lobby to meet the cast. We met Judas, Nicodemus, the Pharisees, an angel, but then there was Jesus. There was a line to see him. I was the last one in the line. I was really nervous, so nervous that I almost decided not to meet him. And I wasn't sure why I was so nervous. The elderly lady in front of me asked him how he played Jesus so well. He replied that he prayed every time that he could empty himself and let the Holy Spirit just completely fill him and flow out of him. She asked for a hug, which he gladly gave. It was a really sweet interaction to watch. When I saw her ask for a hug, though, I thought, "Ah! Maybe I could ask for a hug too! But do I have the nerve? I mean, I'm a complete stranger to this guy, and I'm not good at hugging the guys I do know in my life, much less strangers." But, ultimately I knew that if I didn't ask for the hug, I would regret it.

Then, it was my turn. He smiled and said hi, and I asked if I could please have a hug. He gave a gentle laugh and said sure. (all of this was so like Jesus.) He came around the little podium that they had him stand behind to sign CDs and things, and gave me a firm, but gentle hug. As his arms wrapped around me, and I felt his robe against my face, I remembered my "ridiculous" prayer from 3 weeks ago, and I knew that God was giving me my hearts' desire. He was saying "yes" to my prayer in that very moment. As he released me, I looked up into his face, and told him about my prayer and how God had just used him to answer that prayer. He got tears in his eyes, smiled even bigger, and hugged me again - and held me for a few moments while he prayed for me! It was the most incredible experience of my life! There was no doubt in my mind that God had orchestrated that moment, and the Holy Spirit had so filled that man (David M. Sanborn. Google him), that he was like Jesus to me. It was a holy moment that changed me forever.

I left there shaking, crying, and laughing. I could not believe what had just happened. I had just seen Jesus. I was overwhelmed by the realization of how much God loved me to have done that for me. As an intercessor, I'm used to seeing Jesus move in response to prayers about other people. But to answer a prayer that was just for me was so intimate and so loving. So extravagant.

"Meeting Jesus" changed me. It made me see Jesus in a much more personal way. It made my prayer time with Him that much sweeter. He truly became my Companion as I desired to walk with Him. I started learning how to really die to myself, which included laying down some things that were very precious to me - like the prayer ministry I was leading for our worship ministry's leadership. I also started recognizing Jesus in other people better. I can't think of a better way to encourage someone than by telling them, "You remind me of Jesus."

And of course, here we are a year later, and I'm dealing with my brother's death through the truth that I have of how much Jesus loves me. Ironically, Rusty was one of the first people I told about my "meeting Jesus" experience. I had no idea that less than a year later, he would really be meeting Jesus. In fact, one night right after Rusty died, I was putting my daughter to bed, and she asked me to sing her favorite song, "Jesus Loves Me". As I sang the chorus, I could feel Jesus' arms wrapped around me once again, holding me, as if He were singing it over me. I recognize now that one of the reasons He gave me that moment, was to prepare me for this season of grief and loss. I cherish that precious truth that Jesus loves me, more than I can fathom. His grace IS sufficient for me. He is my All in all. He is my shield and my portion forever.

Waves

2011-04-18T13:16:00.007-05:00

I was talking to my Sunday School teacher today via email. (He's one of the best SS teachers around.) He was letting me know he was praying for me and our family still. I'm betting he was a tad concerned for me because I was a mess at church yesterday. As we were discussing what grief is like, I had this analogy come to me that I thought was rather beautiful (if I do say so myself) and very accurate. And I thought, "Oh! I need to blog about this!"

Most of us have heard about the stages of grief. I think there's denial, anger, depression...and I can't remember the others. So far I've definitely experienced those three. I remember at the funeral I kept telling people, "This is wrong. We are not supposed to be here. My brother is NOT supposed to be in that casket." The day after the funeral I went back to the grave and just stood there, staring at it, trying to make it sink in. But it wouldn't. That's denial. For me anyway.

The next day at church, anger hit me full force. I wasn't mad at Rusty. I was mad at God, not so much for allowing Rusty to die, but for allowing all the other stuff to happen that made it that much harder. (We had a couple of people show up acting like complete idiots at the funeral, among other things.)I was angry for a lot of reasons. My pastor talked to me that morning, and I said everything one should probably not say to one's pastor: "I'm angry at God; I'm angry at all the stupid people that come out of the woodwork during something like this; I don't care if my anger hurts them. And, just to top it all off: I can't pray." He was very loving, but also helped me understand why you can't stay in that place of anger. You have to choose to move from it.

Then there was depression. My least favorite stage. At least with anger you feel something. With depression, you just feel numb, listless, you don't care about anything. In the past, I had to be on medicine for depression, and so I recognized that stage as soon as I got there. I didn't care what I looked like. I didn't care about getting the kids school work done. I just didn't care about anything. And I couldn't cry. That was the worst part. I wanted to cry, and I knew I needed to, but I couldn't. It was like a dam was holding back the tears.

But what I'm discovering is that they're not stages that are set in order. And just because I was angry 2 weeks ago doesn't mean I'm done with it. In fact, yesterday I had to deal with anger all over again. Just because I seem to be doing well this week does not mean I'm on the uphill path from now on. No, what I have discovered is that grief comes in waves.

The initial wave hits you at the moment of impact. For me, the moment my mom's words sunk in over the phone "Rusty's dead." was my moment of impact. For a moment, it loomed up in front of me, very large and terrifying, and then it crashed down over me and all around me, engulfing everything near and dear to me. In those first few days, that initial wave was all-consuming. I couldn't find my footing in the aftermath of that wave. If it had not been for the support of our friends and church families in those first days, we would not have been able to keep our heads above water.

The waves right after that all hit you with a cold, sharp impact that can take your breath away. But then, the waters ebb. The waves seem to stop. You're still standing in waist-deep water that you have to slog through, but at least you're able to gain your footing. You can take a deep breath. Maybe you're going to make it after all.

But now, 4 weeks later (gosh, can it really already be 4 weeks? How is that possible?), what I'm learning is that the waves still come. Sometimes they come one right after another. Sometimes they are spread out. Some of the waves are small and gently wash over you - you feel it's presence, but it's almost a comforting grief. (There's an oxymoron. But really, if you've lost a loved one, in those moments of acceptance of what's happened, you want to be sad. They are worth grieving over, and knowing that you're still feeling that is, in a way, comforting. It's sort of like a reassurance of the bond you had with them.)Other waves are strong and hit hard, knocking you off your feet all over again.

Anything can trigger these waves - whether it's a memory of the one you've lost, or suddenly realizing a particular dream has died with that person, or even just a disappointment that has nothing at all to do with your loss. From last Thursday through Sunday, I was having a succession of those hard waves that knock you off your feet. By Sunday, I was a wreck and cried more that day than any other day since Rusty died, I think. Then today, just as suddenly, those waves have subsided, and I'm trying to slog through just the "regular" grief.

But here's what I know. My Jesus has authority over these waves. He will not let them consume me when they wash over me. In fact, if I let Him, He may even teach me how to walk on them.

I Can't Fix This

2011-04-11T08:43:00.005-05:00

It will be 3 weeks ago tomorrow that my youngest brother took his life. I've blogged about the details of that night, but haven't been able to post it yet. I don't know that I ever will. It was just good for me to get it out of my head and down on "paper".

The week after it happened, I met with my worship pastor/friend to help sort through some of my emotions and thoughts. One of the things he pointed out was that I was struggling with the fact that I couldn't control what happened, and I can't control the grief process. He talked about how an intercessor can fall into the delusion that they can control things through their prayers, and I especially thought I could protect my family by praying for them. He was exactly right. And it made me mad. On some level, though, the truth of what he said sunk in, and I have been pondering it ever since.

I keep playing through my mind the phone call where Mom told me Rusty was dead. It took a minute for it to sink in, but then the wave of heartbreak and grief flooded over me. I knew there had been some initial thought that hit me just before that wave did. As I've sorted through everything as best as I can, I remember what that thought was. "I can't fix this." Usually, when any family member called with a crisis, I would immediately start trying to figure out how to fix it. And I usually had good solutions. But this time, there was absolutely nothing I could do to fix it. Rusty was gone. My mom was experiencing the worst pain any parent could experience. And all I could do was cry with her.

But in recent days, I've heard the most wonderful thought being spoken into my spirit: "I've already fixed this." You see, Rusty's suicide did not take God by surprise. And He truly had made every provision for it. In Sept of 2009, Rusty had prayed with my pastor to receive Jesus as his Savior. Jesus "fixed this" when He died for Rusty on the cross, and defeated death and the grave when He rose from the dead on the third day! Jesus is the solution to my brother's death, and to our grief. And I can say with boldness: Death, where is your victory? Grave, where is your sting?

So, the fact is, I couldn't fix this. I can't fix this. But, the TRUTH is, I don't have to, because God already did. Praise the Lord!!

A Lesson From the Clouds

2010-09-28T21:23:00.003-05:00

Ps. 68:1 - "May God arise, may His enemies be scattered; may His foes flee before Him."

I've been praying to see God's glory, and for my church to see God's glory. The other day a friend posted this quote from Charles Spurgeon on her Facebook wall. I found it very encouraging, especially after the lesson God showed me in the clouds:

Although you may have pleaded month after month without evidence of answer, it is not possible that the Lord should be deaf when his people are earnest in a matter which concerns his glory. -Spurgeon-

While I was at the beach with my family, I was able to get up early enough to enjoy the sunrise a couple of mornings. The first day I watched it, the sun immediately rose into a bank of dark clouds. As the sun rose, the clouds rose with it, and I wasn't able to see much at all. I was disappointed, but continued to watch. The clouds started spreading, as if it was trying to block every ray of the sun, and at first it looked like it was succeeding. But then, the light started to pierce through the clouds, and I realized that what was really happening was that the sun was causing the dark clouds to scatter. Within 30 minutes, there was no trace of those clouds, and the light of the sun filled the sky.
The second day, the same thing happened, except that the clouds were MUCH larger. This time I knew what would happen, but I didn't realize how it would impact me. As the sun rose, it began to pierce the dark clouds and scattered them, but instead of disappearing, the clouds scattered over me and poured down rain. After about 10 minutes, though, the rain stopped, the clouds did disappear, and the sun once again lit up the sky.
The Lord used that to speak to me. I've been praying to see the glory of the Lord in our church in ways we never have. What the Lord showed me was that His glory is already on the rise. Most of you probably sense that in our worship services. But there is some darkness on the horizon, and it is preventing us from fully seeing or comprehending His glory. To some of us, it may look like the darkness is overcoming the light. But the truth is, in our darkest moments - both in our individual lives and as a church - God is at work. If we have faith to keep looking toward Him, toward the light, we will see that He is at work in the darkness, and His glory WILL break through. The enemy WILL scatter, and the glory of the Lord will rise and fill our lives, our church and even the whole Earth. Actually, His glory already does fill the Earth, but it's hard for us to see it sometimes for the storm clouds all around us. Don't be discouraged when it seems the clouds are overtaking you. Don't be alarmed when the rain and the storm pours down around you. Trust that God is at work, and that the storm is indicating the enemy's power is being broken. Praise God!
Specifically, I heard the Spirit speak to me, "As the sun rises, so does my glory, and My glory overcomes the darkness." When I got home, I was thinking I would really like to know a verse that confirms what He spoke to me. I went to check email, and one of the first emails I laid eyes on was a daily Bible verse that I signed up for just the week before. The verse for that day was Hosea 6:3 - "Let us acknowledge the Lord; let us press on to acknowledge Him. As surely as the sun rises, He will appear; He will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth." Thank You, Lord, for confirming Your word of encouragement. Cause us to press in to acknowledge You, even when it seems we can't see You. Let Your glory arise, and let Your enemies be scattered. Amen

Whose Security Blanket is it Anyway?

2010-04-06T21:17:00.003-05:00

Hi! Remember me? I felt so bad about not having blogged in so long that I was seriously thinking about just giving it up. However, I have had a couple of people in my life tell me that I should start blogging again. So here I am. I did have to laugh to myself though when I signed in and saw my last post was titled "Being Quiet". Nice to know I took that one to heart!

So Sunday, 2 days ago, I had one of the most traumatic events that can happen in the life of a mother of a toddler. (Yes, my baby girl is a toddler now. If I weren't having digital camera issues, I would post a picture of her on here for you.) We. lost. Amy Beth's. blankies. **da, du, dum!** I can hear your screams of horror now.

Yes, she has two. The plan being we would always have a backup for wash days and if the unthinkable happened and we misplaced one, but once she realized there were 2 of them, she had to have both of them with her at all times. We lost them at church that morning. I knew they were in her bag when I dropped her off, and I realized they were missing on our way home when we stopped for lunch. Of course, I immediately turned around and headed back to church, but all the doors were locked and everyone was gone. At this point, my mind overloaded on the horrible future that laid immediately ahead of me. I was thinking no naps, lots of crying at bedtime, overall fussiness throughout the day - and it wasn't going to be a picnic for her either.

I came home, called Preston, who suggested that I ask someone who lived near the church and had a key if I could borrow the key and go look for the blankets. Our worship pastor was the obvious choice, because he lives within walking distance to the church, and he knows where I live in case I "forgot" to return the key. Call made; he agreed to let me borrow the key; we drove back across town to get it and check the church. I looked all over the place; retraced every step we could have possibly taken that day; to no avail. It wasn't there. I was now ready to go curl up in a fetal position in the corner and whimper. Amy Beth, however, seemed oblivious, even though we were a couple of hours past her bed time. Her oldest brother, Harris, had let her borrow his beloved blanky. It felt and smelled enough like hers that it was sufficing for the moment. (Amy Beth has 2 of the best brothers in the universe. I hope she realizes that some day. Although it took me until I was an adult to realize how awesome my brothers were.)

We came home and commenced with our Easter festivities. Amy Beth was too distracted hunting eggs to worry about her blankies. I, however, was making phone calls and sending emails to the nursery director and the workers in her class, and wracking my brain trying to figure out where they could be. I came to two conclusions: either they are in the toy cabinet that I couldn't get into, or they accidentally got sent home with someone else. Either way, chances were very slim we would be getting those blankies back that day.

Sunday night. Bedtime. She goes down without a fuss due to sheer exhaustion - and her brother's blanket. But it was a restless sleep. Same with nap time on Monday. And the next night. During her waking hours, she is even clingier than usual - which is a lot, since she is going through the 2-year-old separation anxiety phase. I notice my stress levels are higher than normal. The case of the missing blankies is driving me crazy. I considered going and buying her a new blanky, but didn't think that would solve the problem. I hate not being able to find things!

Monday night. I check email and see the reminder for our MOMS' group that meets on Tuesdays twice a month. It's for the next day. Yes! Another chance to go up there and recheck all the places those blankets could be. And some of those moms have children in Amy Beth's nursery class. So maybe, just maybe, someone will have them. I was almost giddy with the possibilities.

We get to church. I talk to the nursery director and all the workers again and determine that the blankies have gone home with someone. Seeing that I'm almost the last one to drop off my children, and no one has mentioned to our nursery director that they found someone's blankies in their child's things Sunday, I start to get nervous again. And heartsick. Amy Beth, meanwhile, is happily playing with her nursery friends, oblivious to my distress, thankfully.

I go downstairs to MOMS Group, (on my way stopping by the sanctuary and getting on my hands and knees to look under the pews). I'm sort of in a depressed daze at this point. And then Jennifer Lynch walks in, whose daughter is one of Amy Beth's best friends in the nursery, and in her hand is Amy Beth's blankies!! **insert angel choir "ahhhhhh!"** I was SO ecstatic! The day was suddenly brighter, and the birds were once again singing. I hugged them to me and ran back upstairs to the nursery to give them to Amy Beth right away, imagining the look of joy and relief when I handed them to her. Instead, I got a look of "Oh, I knew they would show up." She didn't act excited or relieved AT ALL!!! She did take a much better and longer nap when we got home than she had in 2 days, though. And her brother was happy to get his blanket back.

So tonight, I was pondering the last couple of days and came to a startling and a bit disturbing conclusion: I am just as attached to her blankies as Amy Beth is! After all, the last 2 days had been seemingly more traumatic for me than they had been for her! So it begs the question, not just of me, but of all of you whose children have blankies or "lovies": whose security blanket is it anyway?

Perhaps I should start a support group to help wean us off of our children's lovies.

Being Quiet

2009-08-06T20:20:00.002-05:00

I have been frustrated in my attempts to pray on my own lately. I would sit there and have to fight to come up with the words to pray - and then they would sound so juvenile instead of the "pretty" prayers I'm used to "coming up with". I recently started journalling my prayers, and thought it would make it easier, but if anything it's now worse. I have no words of my own. Instead, the only thing that comes to my mind is Scripture, whether it's in prayerful worship or in intercession. I was writing out my frustrations to God this morning, and He quickly showed me that I am in a season of "being made silent". (Not sure why I put that in quotation marks, it just felt like it should be in quotes.) I have grown self-sufficient in how I pray. He wants me to get back to praying only Spirit-led, Scripture-fed prayers. (I mean, Hello! That's what Pastors Harry and Kevin have been leading us in for well over a year at my church, Shades Mountain Independent!) And sometimes, He doesn't want me saying anything - just being still and trusting that His Sovereignty and grace are sufficient. He sees my heart and knows what's in it - the worship, the gratitude, the requests, the concerns, the desires, and yes, even the sins and weaknesses, the deceptions I've bought into. He knows it much better than I ever will. I don't have to say anything. Sometimes, I just need to be quiet and get out of the way so His Spirit can do His work in me and through me.

Hi! Remember Me?

2009-06-18T18:26:00.007-05:00

Wow. It's been a while. I've missed this. So why haven't I been blogging? Hmmm, several reasons, I guess: I can usually only blog in the evenings, and am usually too tired to think, much less converse; Facebook was satisfying my need to put my thoughts out there to my cyber-friends; I kept thinking I needed to start off with some big, fantastic blog with lots of followers, and would get discouraged when I kept falling short.

A lot of that thinking has changed. I'll start with the last one first: this is MY blog, and it doesn't have to fill anyone else's shoes - just mine. No one's blog started off big and fantastic with lots of followers, and if I only ever have 6 followers, then that's enough for me. My main purpose for blogging is not to entertain the masses, but to share my thoughts with my friends - especially those thoughts that God has been teaching me.

That may be another reason why I haven't been blogging: not to sound too lofty, but maybe, just maybe, the enemy of my soul has been keeping me distracted. Just before I stopped blogging on a semi-regular basis, I had shared with a friend that I felt like God wanted me to use this blog to share the amazing things God is teaching me. I have a gift of prophecy, which means a gift for declaring truth. What better platform than this blog? The devil obviously doesn't want the truth to go out in any way. Well, I'm done cooperating with that plan.

And finally, the Facebook distraction. As of last week, I am no longer doing FB. I deactivated my account. I had been wrestling with that decision for a long time. It became too much of a time drain, and it was competing with my time that I should have been spending with God. Our pastor has been challenging us to give up things that distract us from hearing from God and seeking Him. I was choosing time on Facebook over time with God - in other words, it had become an idol for me. It was also compromising other priorities - like getting in bed on time, conversation with people in my house, and blogging.

I don't have anything against Facebook itself, or anyone who uses it. It's just for me, at this time at least, it's gotta go. I want my relationship with God to be my number one priority. I don't want anything else to get in the way of that. Seriously. When I do get rid of the distractions and spend that time with Him instead, I am always amazed at His amazing grace, and at the things He shows me. Do you know how much He desires our undivided attention? How delighted He is when we let Him show us some of the wonders He has for us? Someone recently showed me a picture. It depicted Christ sitting in a forest with a child in His lap, tucked up against Him under one arm, while He was holding a butterfly on the end of His finger on His other arm. The child was delighted with the butterfly, and Christ was delighted in the child's delight. That child is you and me - if you have made Jesus your Lord and Savior. He wants to pick us up and sit us on His lap, tuck us up under His arm, and then show us the wonders of His grace, mercy, love, and Creation itself. I have tried to hold one of my children before, but because they didn't want to put down their toys, I either couldn't pick them up at all, or had to hold them at arms length because the toys were in the way. I want to put down my toys so that He can pick me up and tuck me under His arm. I want to lay my head on His breast, and behold the wonders He has in store for me. And I want to share what He shows me with you.

Pottery Pictures and a Pottery Giveaway!!!

2009-05-14T20:57:00.005-05:00

I just wanted to show you some of the things I've made in my pottery class so far. I am still LOVING this class! I've had 4 of 6 classes so far, and I am dreading the end of that 6th week. I will definitely go through clay withdrawals. Seriously. I am in love with the stuff! I love the way it feels on my hands. I love the way it changes shape on the wheel. I love the way it smells. Okay, stop looking at me like that (yes, I can see you). I know how weird that sounds, but I can't help it. I have been told by one of the instructors and others in the class with me that I seem to have a "knack" for wheel-throwing. If you have ever wanted to take pottery classes, I highly recommend going here and signing up for the next available classes!

Now, if you love hand-made pottery, but would rather just own it rather than make it, head over to Rachel's blog. She is having a giveaway for some gorgeous pottery, created by Tena Payne, who is teaching the class I'm taking. I've blogged about her before.

Now, without further ado, some of the pictures of my work. Remember I've only had 4 classes at this point, so be kind in your opinion. Honest, but kind.

This is the clay after being wedged, thrown, centered, and opened. See how wet it is?

These are my very first 2 pieces. I made the cup first, and then the bowl. To be honest, I had to chunk the first 3 attempts, but that's part of the learning process.

I made these my second week. The larger one is one of my favorite pieces so far. You'll notice the bottoms look rough. That's because they had not been trimmed yet.

This is my other favorite piece. It's supposed to eventually be a teapot, but I like it like this so much that I might just use it as a vase.

Another angle of my teapot/vase.

This past week we learned how to trim the pieces. I don't have those pictures ready yet, but I'll get them up soon. We will be glazing the pieces in the next couple of weeks. I can't wait! Don't forget to sign up for the pottery giveaway on Rachel's blog!

Collecting Buttons

2009-04-24T14:39:00.004-05:00

I won - again! Actually, twice again! Rachel has a "Conquer the Caption" contest every Friday. I had the honor of winning the first one, and have won the last two weeks in a row as well. And no, I did not have any inside information or previous knowledge to give me an edge. I just have a quirky mind that thinks this way all the time, and Rachel has just so happened to stumble on a good outlet for it.

Thanks to Rachel and all her wonderful, generous giveaways, I can never again say I hardly ever win anything, even if it is just a virtual button.

And while I am on the subject of buttons, I'm going to start collecting them. You may have noticed my blog button on the sidebar. That was also created by Rachel - just to be nice. I didn't win that one. If you would like to display my button on your blog (if you use Blogger), all you have to do is to copy (ctrl-C) the code under my button, then go to layout --> Add Gadget --> HTML/Javascript --> Paste (ctrl-V) your code in. You will start seeing more of my friends' blog link buttons on my sidebar as well in the near future.

My First Pottery Class!

2009-04-21T13:51:00.009-05:00

Today was my first pottery class! And. I. LOVED it!! As I have mentioned before, I have always wanted to try my hand at pottery since I first saw someone doing pottery at Tannehill State Park when I was a child, and I was not disappointed!

CahabaClayWorks offers several classes taught by several teachers, and I chose the Tuesday morning class because: 1) My husband is at home on Tuesdays to watch our kids and 2) Tena Payne, whose children I went to school with, was the teacher for this class. There were 3 of us for this first class today, which in my opinion was great because it allowed Tena to give us more one-on-one time. And at the beginning anyway, we really needed it!

Tena started the class by telling us about clay. It's straight from the earth. It is the end result of erosion and is found all over the world. It also comes in a variety of colors. You can make it into any shape you want and change it as much as you want, but once you fire it, it will last forever. That's how archeologists learn about ancient civilizations is primarily through the pottery they find because it is the most well-preserved.

Then she made some spiritual applications. (after asking permission to do so with the class). God calls Himself the Potter, and He calls us the clay. He comes and digs us out of the "earth", out of the filth of our sin. We are unable to come to Him first, just like the clay has no power on its own to come to the potter. God cleans all the dirt and impurites out of us to make us something that He can use. And then He molds us and shapes us. We cannot tell Him what we want to look like. It is completely up to the Potter. There are many different tools you can use when making pottery, some of them are "normal" tools (like a sponge), and some of them are quite strange (like a corn-cob-looking...thing). The spiritual application there is do not be surprised at the unlikely tools God uses in our lives to shape us into His vessel, and do not resist the process. Once a piece of clay is shaped and left to air dry, it will try to go back to it's original shape. How true of us as well. As Christians, we are so quick to fall back into the sins and habits that God just rescued us from, just like the Israelites who wanted to go back to Egypt. And then of course, there is the firing process. (which we didn't do today). It hardens the vessel into the shape the potter made, and it becomes a useful and beautiful object. The fiery trials in our lives God uses to transform us into a vessel pleasing and useful to Him and to those He brings into our lives. I LOVED it! I don't know why, but I had goose bumps as she shared all of this with us. Oh, and another thing, if during the process of making the piece of pottery, the clay goes awry, the potter doesn't throw it away, he/she reclaims it, and starts all over again. And God never gives up on us, but reclaims us and makes us into something new. Isn't that awesome?! I told Rachel that my only regret about this Tuesday class was missing Bible study, but God still gave me an awesome lesson about Himself through Tena and the clay. Praise God!

Tena demonstrated everything for us first, and made a beautiful bowl in no time. She made it look so easy. Then we got to do it ourselves. It wasn't that easy, but it was so much fun! Now, to be honest, I was afraid I would discover that I didn't enjoy getting the clay all over my hands, because as a child I hated getting dirty, but that was not the case. I loved the way it felt on my hands. By the end of the 6-week class, I bet the skin on my hands is going to look great!

If you watch a potter working on a wheel, they make it look like the clay just melts at the slightest touch of your hands, but you have to exert a lot of pressure on that clay. You don't just use your hands, but your whole body. I mean, I can feel it in my muscles still, maybe I should go take a Motrin... Now, I messed up right away, because I didn't throw my clay on the wheel firmly enough, so when I went to start centering it, it went flying off the wheel (don't worry, no teachers were harmed during the production of this vessel.) I ended up having to start over 3 times, but the fourth time was the charm, and I was amazed at the pretty bowl that turned out. (Tena says that for beginners', you don't decide what you're going to make ahead of time, you just take what the clay gives you.) I'm so sorry to not have a picture to show you, but I left my camera at home. I'll take pictures next week and show you. I then did a second piece all by myself! Well, under Tena's close supervision anyway. I was rather proud of my very first 2 pieces! My 2 classmates only made one piece, but they came together and were having fun chit-chatting while I was in the zone.

In the end, I had 2 lovely bowls of different shapes and sizes (I'm assuming we'll do the finishing work on them next week), my jeans and shirt covered in clay (they tell you to wear clothes you don't mind getting muddy), and a huge smile on my face. I loved having Tena as a teacher, and it was fun getting to know the 2 older ladies who were in the class with me. They were a hoot! I have always been told that I am creative and artistic, but I haven't found an outlet for that creativity that I have enjoyed as much as I enjoyed this today. Thank you, Rachel, for this wonderful prize. And thank you, Tena, for donating these classes to her giveaway.

A New Name

2009-04-19T21:52:00.001-05:00

Rev. 2:17 - " 'He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, to him I will give some of the hidden manna, and I will give him a white stone, and a new name written on the stone which no one knows but he who receives it.' " (emphasis mine)

I once read somewhere that to know a person or a thing's name is to have some degree of authority over them. Think about it, if you are in a large crowd and hear someone shout, "Hey you", you will assume they're talking to someone else and keep walking. But if you hear someone shout your name, it will most likely make you stop and see who is calling for you. And the more specific they are with your name (I.e. - first and last), the more it will compel you to stop. Perhaps this is why parents are known for calling their child by their full name when that child is in trouble. The parent is letting the child know that the full weight of their parent's authority is about to come down on them.
Your name is also your identity. Before and during the Middle Ages, if I'm remembering my history correctly, a person was identified by what they did for a living or something they had accomplished. For good or for ill, that identity became their name that the person - and their descendents - were known by. To this day, some people strive to "make a name for themselves".
This verse tells us that Jesus has given us an identity. We are identified with Christ! That means we are identified as holy and blameless (Eph.1:4), a joint-heir (Rom. 8:17), being seated with Him in the heavenly places (Eph.2:6), set apart (Col.2:11, 12), and made complete in Him in all the fullness of Deity (Col. 2:9, 10). What an encouraging, life-changing truth. No matter what the world tells us, no matter what our family history is, no matter what mistakes we've made, if we are born again, then we are identified with Christ - by Christ! And because Christ is the only one who knows this new name of ourse, He is the only one who has authority over us! We no longer have to listen to the lies of the enemy, to temptations, or to the voices of the world that try to distract us or taunt us because they don't know our name and therefore have no authority over us. Because Satan has no authority over us, he has no authority to put any guilt or condemnation on us. His threats and accusations are not valid. (Rom.8:1,2) We only have to listen to the voice of our Lord and Savior, and we answer only to Him! Praise the Lord! Hallelujah!!!!

An Epiphany

2009-03-22T21:10:00.004-05:00

I have been a Christian since I was 4 years old. I have grown up in the church and have enjoyed a close walk with God for most of my life. However, there is a fundamental truth to the Christian faith that I have always struggled with, and that is the issue of our sin being separated from us "as far as the east is from the west". I have been taught that at length all my life through various things, and I knew it in my head, but I didn't own it for myself. As a result, even though I knew my sins were forgiven, I have been living life weighed down with guilt and self-condemnation. I would read verses like Ephesians 1:3,4 - "Blessed is the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him." (emphasis mine) and I would think, well that will be nice one day, but I am not holy or blameless right now. When I sinned, my head knew I was forgiven as soon as I confessed and repented, but I still felt like I had to work my way back into fellowship with God, that there was a series of hoops I had to jump through in order to "make it up" to God for screwing up. As a result, I was always angry with myself, and I could not fully grasp my identity as a child of God and what He has called me to do. I thought I was too messed up to by fully used of God.

However, tonight, at our Sunday night prayer time and Communion, God revealed the truth to me. I finally got it, that my sin was not just "washed away", but that the blood of Jesus Christ obliterated my sin. It does not exist anymore! The moment I confess my sin, Jesus is "faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness".(I John 1:9) At that instant, I am holy and blameless before Him (Eph.1:4). That lie I told in 2nd grade - washed away; losing my temper with my kids this morning (yes, before church of course) - gone; getting impatient with the slow-poke on the road - doesn't exist anymore. Hallelujah!

That guilt was a lie of the enemy to hold me back from living a victorious Christian life, and to keep me from fully realizing the call God has on my life. I can now declare that "Therefore there is now (not "someday", not "maybe", but "now") NO condemation to those who are in Christ Jesus." (Rom.8:1 - emphasis mine). It doesn't mean I will never sin again, it means I no longer have to bear the guilt or condemnation of that sin because Jesus Christ bore my sins on His body on the cross. He paid the penalty, and when He arose from the grave, He took the victory over my sin, and because I believe in Him, that victory over sin - and its guilt and condemnation - is now mine! Praise the Lord!! Hallelujah!!! Glory to God!!!!!

I Conquered the Caption! and other fun stuff

2009-03-20T15:34:00.007-05:00

This has been a good week for me. I've won two things! That's a pretty amazing accomplishment for a person who rarely wins things. As you can tell from the button above, I won Rachel's very first "Conquer the Caption" contest! This is a fun little contest that is going to be a weekly feature on her blog. She posts a picture, and readers comment with a caption to go with the picture. What did I get for winning the very first Conquer the Caption contest, you ask? Well, I won....the button at the top of this post!!

Here's the funny thing - back in my very young teenage years, I loved silly lapel pins/buttons. You know the ones that would say things like, "Smile, Jesus Loves You" or "Kiss me, I'm Irish", or sometimes just the little guardian angel pins. I would wear one almost every day. At one point, there were 3 different ones I was wearing at the same time, and I had a few on my denim purse as well. Weird, I know. So, anyway, now that I've won this button, I'm thinking perhaps I should start seeing how many blog buttons I can collect! Whadduya think? Huh, HUH???....well....maybe not.

What I won earlier in the week though really is something to get super excited about - for me anyway. I won a 6-week pottery class - also through Rachel's blog and her first annual giveaway jubilee! I have always been fascinated watching people make pottery, and have always had a secret desire to try it myself. I think it's going to be so much fun to have this time to look forward to once a week to get out of the house by myself, and try my hand at something artistic. I've always been told that I'm a creative person, but other than playing my flute, I don't really see it. I have a tremendous desire to be creative and artistic, but haven't found an outlet for it that I really got excited about - except scrapbooking, but I just don't have the time for that anymore. So maybe pottery will turn out to be my thing! Wouldn't that be cool?

The other thing that makes this so neat for me is the person who donated these classes, Tena Payne. Her daughter and I were best friends back in junior high school, and I remember her doing pottery back then. In fact, my mom still has some coffee cups that Tena made her and gave her for Christmas or something way back when. Tena's pottery is now used in high-end restaurants and the like all over the country! You should stop by her web site, Earthborn Pottery, and take a look at all the exquisite pieces she has that you can buy. And if you're interested in taking some pottery classes yourself, you can visit Cahaba Clay Works and click on the "Classes" link at the top of the page for information.

There are a whole lot of other fun things we've done this week, but I will post about it later. And I will definitely let you know how the classes go!

Rejoice Evermore

2009-03-15T22:57:00.002-05:00

I Thess. 5:16-18 - Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

I recently heard a report from a lady who was in...Uganda, I think, on a short-term mission's trip. She was working in an orphanage where many of the children came from pasts that would out-do most horror movies. And yet these children were some of the most joyful children she had ever met. Was there intense counseling? No. Drug therapy? No. They just spent all their free time in praise and worship. These children would go to school, then do their chores, eat supper, and have praise and worship time. Then in the morning, they would begin their day with praise and worship before going off to school. This missionary said these children weren't forced into these sessions, they looked forward to them and participated in them with all that they had, and would leave the sessions still singing, dancing, and rejoicing in the Lord! Isn't that wonderful?
It makes me wonder about us, though. How much time do we spend worshipping and praising the Lord? What would happen if we stopped wasting our time on Facebook or watching the junk on TV or even reading the latest Christian motivational book, and used that free time to worship God instead? I am willing to guess that we would find our stress and our concerns put in their proper perspective - God's perspective. We would have a much easier time of letting go and letting God handle everything. It would change our lives.
These verses in I Thess. 5 are what came to my mind when I was thinking about all of this. I looked up some of the words. "Rejoice" means to be cheerful or calmly happy. "Evermore" means every when (which made me think of the phrase "even when ....") and at all times. Sometimes I think of rejoicing or being joyful as exuberant happiness and I think to myself, "I just don't have the energy for that right now". I'm so glad that word means calmly happy - one could probably say peacefully happy. And of course, the next two phrases are pretty clear cut - "pray without ceasing" - turn everything over to God in prayer. "In everything give thanks" - giving thanks in the midst of a trial or giving thanks as soon as you've asked Him for something is displaying your faith in the God who hears and answers our prayers - and knowing His answer will be for our good and His glory. The next phrase is what gave me a little bit of pause: "For this is the will of God..." - we hear that phrase so much, but what does the "will" in the will of God mean? According to Strong's, it means a determination, desire, or pleasure. God's desire is for us to spend our time praying, praising Him (expressing gratitude for the works of God), and rejoicing in Him, which is worship.
So my challenge for myself and all of us is the next time we need to unwind, instead of picking up the remote or booting up the laptop, turn to God instead. It can be with music or meditating on His Word (not with the assistance of any other books, sometimes we're so busy trying to figure out what so-and-so says about a verse that we miss what the Holy Spirit is saying about it.). It can be through just talking to God or just sitting and listening to Him (Ps. 46:10). It can be whatever God leads you to do. Remember, worship is all that we are responding to all that He is.

A Google Game

2009-03-06T10:33:00.002-06:00

On Facebook right now, there are a lot of fun little memes going around for people to play. The latest one I've seen is to do a Google search with "(your name) needs", and to write/type out the first 10 results. Well, by the time I got to it, the search was skewed because of all the people doing this game, so I didn't take exactly the first 10, just the first 10 that were somewhat funny to me. I also went to ask Jeeves and did the same thing. Here are the results of the 2 searches:

Google
1. Jennifer needs a smack daddy. - umm...exCUUUUSE me?
2. Jennifer needs to play by the rules. - 'cuz I'm such a rebel, you know.
3. Jennifer needs to give birth in the next week. - That would take a LOT of talent since I am not pregnant.
4. Jennifer needs to date Jason. - nope. I am happily married, thank you very much.
5. Jennifer needs to accept that she's gained a lot of weight. - again - exCUUUUSE me?!?!?!?!
6. Jennifer needs a shave. - Man, Google is rather rude. I shaved yesterday if you must know.
7. Jennifer needs your support. - Yeah, after Google has insulted me and depressed me, I guess so.
8. Jennifer needs a mortician. - One of the stranger ones. I'm not planning on needing one, and last I checked, Google can't tell the future.
9. Jennifer needs a muzzle. - mmm-hmm, mmm-mmmm-hmmm!(that's me trying to talk with a muzzle on.)
10. Jennifer needs to stop watching "Lost" season 1. - In order to stop something, I would have to first start it, and I've never watched that show. (Some of you need to pick your jaws up off the floor now.)

Ask Jeeves
1. Jennifer needs to get over herself - Not much nicer than Google, is it?
2. Jennifer needs to get slapped. - In fact, it goes from verbal abuse to physical abuse. Yikes!
3. Jennifer needs to at least pay a fine. - Yeah, I had some library books overdue.
4. Jennifer needs this diva publicity. - A diva??? Me???? Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!
5. Jennifer needs a holiday! - AMEN!!! Is Google or Ask Jeeves willing to pay for it?
6. Jennifer needs to ease up on herself. - Sometimes that is very true.
7. Jennifer needs to tell people to have a nice, tall glass of "Shut Up". - Oh My, that's not very nice. tsk, tsk, tsk...
8. Jennifer needs more patience. - especially if I am going around telling people to shut up.
9. Jennifer needs to take things one baby at a time. - Umm, but I have 3 babies....

Apparently, I miscounted and forgot to write down a 10th one. Oh well.

Have you played this game? If so, let me know what you "need"! : )

Kid Tips

2009-02-28T00:50:00.001-06:00

My friend, Rachel, did a post a while back on Baby Tips, things she learned as a mom over the first year of her daughter's life. It was so helpful, in a tongue-in-cheek sort of way, that I've been wanting to do my own for some time. Today is her one year blogging anniversary (hooray!) and she is inviting everyone to help celebrate by posting their own tips. So now is the perfect time to enlighten you with all the wisdom I have gleaned from 6 years of child-rearing. So without further ado, and in no particular order, here are my "Kid Tips".

First, some rules regarding sleep:

NEVER let your baby sleep on his stomach, or with stuffed animals, and definitely not on their stomach with a stuffed animal

or with a blanket - because it might wind up over their face.

Do not let your children share a crib - with each other or with the above-said stuffed animals.

Second: Enforce good hygiene habits early on.

Like brushing their teeth.

And bathing

But it is important to remember that as they get older, it sometimes really is easier to hose them off outside.

Now for some safety tips around the home:

Keep your child away from electrical outlets and light bulb sockets.

And do not let them play with any kind of open flame.

Avoid sugary foods and desserts.

but encourage them to try new foods.

Discourage nasty habits, like picking their nose...and bathing in their food.

From an early age, encourage them to enjoy yard work, like ~~collecting~~ raking leaves.

but also always encourage them to take time to stop and smell the flowers.

Encourage a love for reading as soon as you can.

It is also important to teach respect:

For their siblings,

And for adults, especially when they are being spoken to by an adult.

And finally, encourage them to celebrate their unique fashion sense,

but also teach them the importance of dressing for the occasion.

Also, go back by Rachel's blog and check out this year's addition - Toddler Tips!

Rachel's Giveaway Jubilee!

2009-02-26T09:49:00.004-06:00

I wanted to let you know of a very fun event going on over at my friend, Rachel's blog. Saturday will be her one year blogging anniversary, and she is having a giveaway extravaganza all this week! There is something new being given away every day this week - from practical things like indestructible kids' labels, to pieces of beautiful pottery, to even a custom blog design! To enter, all you have to do in comment on each post (but read carefully as some of them tell you specifically what to comment on), but there are lots of ways to get extra entries too, which she explains on this post. You have until March 16 to enter, so go do it now while you're thinking about it. I hope ~~I win~~ you win!

And happy bloggy anniversary, Rachel!

Being Content

2009-02-20T15:19:00.001-06:00

Phil. 4:11b - "for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances."
Don't you just love it when God so wants you to "get" something He's teaching you that He surrounds you with that one message? Well, this has been my lesson the last couple of weeks. All week last week, He kept having this verse run through my mind everytime I got aggravated with life's circumstances, and then in Sunday School, the teacher taught from this verse AND then Pastor Harry used it in his sermon! The funny thing is, I thought this was a lesson I had already learned. When big, bad, scary things happen, I know how to keep my eyes on God; I've experienced His peace that passes understanding. However, it's in the day to day that I struggle with this. I'm all about praising God when things are going great, but the minute things get difficult or stressful, I am often too quick to start complaining, and it is impossible to praise God about anything while you're complaining about something. God doesn't want a fair-weather worshipper. He wants a true worshipper - one who worships in spirit and in truth. If I truly believe God's promises for me, then I should be able to look beyond any temporary difficulty, small or large, to see God's hand using it for my good and His glory. In fact, Paul goes on to say in this passage - "I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation....I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." (Phil. 4:12b, 13).

Surprising Motivation

2009-01-08T15:07:00.003-06:00

We have a couple of friends coming over tomorrow, and our house is still not recovered from Christmas and Harris' birthday. So today, I decided that we were going to have to tackle the clean-up of all these toys. Like with most kids, it's hard to get them to stay on task while cleaning up, and in the process of wrangling them in, I also lose focus on what needs to get cleaned up. Usually, I get tired and frustrated and give up with a half-way clean and half-way messy house.

Today, however, I made a list. I showed it to the boys and explained what the list was. I even had them help think of things that needed to be put on the list. I told them how we would cross each thing off our list once it was done. I mainly did it to help me stay focused on what needed to get done. However, Harris got all excited about doing the list. He took it and a pen downstairs. I was cleaning up in the kitchen, but I overheard him telling David, "Okay, the first thing we need to do is, put away our cars and trucks." A few minutes later, I heard him telling David about the next thing on the list. Before I knew it, they had completed everything on the list, and Harris had dutifully marked off each item. I thought maybe they just did a half-way job just so Harris could cross off the things on the list, but when I went to check behind them, I was impressed at what a good job they did!

So, what was supposed to be a tool for me turned into a surprising motivation technique for Harris and David to clean up! Awesome! I'm going to go make some more lists now...

A Conversation with Boys

2009-01-07T14:45:00.003-06:00

I was playing with my hair this morning, trying to make it cooperate with me. David asked me what I was doing, which led to this converation:

David: What are you doing with your hair?
Me: Just playing with it.
David: Why?
Me: 'Cause girls like to play with hair.
Harris: Well, boys don't. Boys like to play with stuff like dinosaurs - especially T-Rexes - and cars and trucks and...
David: And we like to run into walls.

At which point Harris pauses to consider this and then says, "Yeah, and we like to run into walls!"

That explains a LOT - not the least of which is why I've noticed my walls looking quite banged up lately...

A Roach by Any Other Name...

2008-12-22T22:23:00.003-06:00

David is always asking, "What's that smell?" I usually can't answer because I don't smell anything. He must have the most sensitive nose in the world.

Tonight as I was brushing his teeth, he said, "What's that smell?" I replied with my usual I don't know. He then told me it smelled like a roach. I told him that I was not aware that roaches had a smell. He said, "Well, dead ones do." I don't EVEN want to know how he knows that.

I really just blogged about this because I wanted to use the title! : )

Be Still

2008-12-17T23:34:00.000-06:00

Psalm 46:10 - "Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth."

This year, I've been asking God to help me get past all the stuff of Christmas so that I could get to the heart of Christmas, which is His heart. When I started praying about this, the phrase that kept running through my mind is, "Be still" which led me to this verse. I looked up some of the words of this verse to see what it really means to be still.

The Hebrew word for "still" is "raphah". It means "to slacken: abate, cease, forsake, idle, leave, let alone, be still". Pretty self-explanatory, but what I found very interesting is that it is the exact same word for healing. That entry's definition is "to mend, to cure, to heal, make whole".

The Hebrew word for "know" is "yada". It means to acknowledge, discern, discover, the list of words for this word go on and on.

The word for "God" is "Elohiym", which means the Supreme God.

That is what God wants from us at Christmas, to acknowledge that He is the Supreme God. Because until we really get that, we cannot fully understand and appreciate the miraculous gift of Emmanuel - God with us. We cannot fathom the wonder of Mary, Joseph, the shepherds, and the wise men they felt when looking into the eyes of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords in tiny human form. This Supreme God stepped out of the glory of Heaven, laid aside His privileges as God, and became a man so that He could be with us in every sense of the word, and ultimately to die for us. The Supreme God chose to suffer and die on the cross for all mankind, and because He is the Supreme God, He conquered sin and death once and for all. That is what God wants from us and wants for us this Christmas, to be still and know that He is God - and everything that implies. Hallelujah! Emmanuel!!

A Life of Worship

2008-12-05T22:36:00.001-06:00

Last week I shared what God has been showing me about making my life an act of worship, and the sermon at my church last Sunday only reiterated all of that to me. Our worship pastor preached, and he talked about how worship is our response with all that we are - body, mind, will, and emotions - to all that God is, says, and does. So that got me thinking. What does a life that is lived out as an act of worship look like? I know it's a life that is living to love, but on a practical moment-by-moment basis, what does it look like? How can changing my baby's dirty diaper, or cleaning the kitchen be an act of worship? As I've pondered this, God has brought two verses to mind. The first one is Colossians 3:17 - "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him." This sounds like just another abstract concept, but it has to do with my motivation and my attitude. Do I grumble about changing a diaper every time I turn around or because it seems I am the only one in my house who knows how to throw anything away? No, I do it in the name of the Lord Jesus. I guess a good example of what I'm thinking this looks like is the way I am at church. I love SMIC, and I love this worship ministry. As a result, I do whatever I can to serve this ministry - from these prayer emails (and the praying), to helping set up chairs or file music. Therefore, how much more should I be willing to do in my home or out and about as an act of love and service to my Lord Jesus?
The other verse that came to mind is I Thessalonians 5:18 - "In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." So the other part of it is not just doing things without grumbling or complaining, but also with thanksgiving and gratitude to God. So I can thank God for my sweet baby girl who will only be this little and in diapers for a short time, and for my family that I get to clean up after (as an act of love to them AND to God) and that I have a house that needs cleaning and the healthy body to get up and do it. In other words, it comes down to my attitude. Because, after all, God is not looking at the outward stuff of what I'm doing, He's looking at my heart. Like Kevin said Sunday, worship should start in the heart. Therefore, making my life an act of worship is all about making my heart a place of continual worship and thanksgiving to God.

Giving Thanks

2008-11-25T14:28:00.002-06:00

I am the intecessor team captain for the worship ministry leadership team at my church. That simply means I get the prayer requests from the worship pastor and those on his team and send them out to the rest of the prayer team. And of course, I pray for the requests, too. Something that God has led me to do with this emails, is to start them off with what I call the "devotional thought for the week". I just sent this one out this week and thought I would share it with my blog-friends.

"Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.
Worship the Lord with gladness; come before Him with joyful songs.
Know that the Lord is God. It is He who made us, and we are His;
We are His people, the sheep of His pasture.

Enter His gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise;
Give thanks to Him and praise His name.
For the Lord is good and His love endures forever;
His faithfulness continues through all generations." - Psalm 100 (NIV)

I know this is the traditional passage to hear at Thanksgiving. I have heard it so often that I have taken it for granted. That's pretty bad - taking a passage about giving thanks for granted - isn't it? However, lately God has been showing me some stuff about giving thanks to Him and when I read this passage in the NIV, some words jumped out at me that also changed my perspective.
I ask the Lord for a lot of things when I pray. From the "God-things" (like my dad being miraculously healed) to the "mundane" (like keep us safe and well today). What God is showing me though, is that He takes every request seriously. When I have had a good day and everyone is well, I am guilty of taking it for granted. But when I've had a bad day, or when one of us has gotten hurt or sick, I complain. God is convicting me that I need to be mindful of His hand orchestrating things in response to what I prayed for. Not because I'm all that great or because my prayers are all that great, but because it's what He does. He listens to the prayers of His people. So, when I pray for safety and we have an uneventful, safe day, I need to express my gratitude to Him for answering that prayer.(you would think that being a cop's wife I would never take our family's safety for granted.) And when we have a bad day dealing with sickness or injury - or the fender-bender yesterday, I need to trust that God was still listening when I prayed for safety/health and therefore He must have some greater reason for allowing us to deal with these incidents. And I still need to come before Him with gladness and thanksgiving, trusting that He will work all of it for our good.
All of that to say - what God is showing me is that we are the sheep of His pasture. Sheep who are totally dependent on their Shepherd for every little thing we receive, and we/I need to thank Him accordingly. My life should be a song of thanksgiving to God - for the good things, for the not-so-good things, and even for the down-right hard things; for the miraculous God things, and for the everyday mundane things.
The other thing I noticed when I read this in the NIV today, is the first word in verse 2 - "Worship the Lord with gladness". In the KJV, the word right there is "Serve the Lord with gladness". It goes back to what I was trying to say last week about making my life an act of worship. I looked up that word in the Strong's Concordance. It has a lot of words there to define this word. Some of them that jumped out at me were: to work, to serve, compel, do, keep, be wrought, worshipper. So to worship the Lord means to work, serve, do, keep, compel. That implies something that I am continuously doing, not just at church, but also when I am at home doing my "mundane" stay-at-home-mom things. My life must become a sacrifice of praise - of worship. And when I have the right perspective on my total dependence on God and thank Him for it accordingly, it's much easier for my life to become consumed with worship.

Lessons Learned This Past Week

2008-11-16T14:58:00.003-06:00

First of all, for those of you who took the time to tell me which photo I should submit for the contest from my previous post, thanks. As you may have noticed, I never got around to entering the contest. Life got busy. But it was fun hearing all of your comments about the 2 photos!

Last week was, stressful, exhausting, and enlightening. Saturday and Tuesday nights, I only got about 2 hours of sleep due to a sick, fussy baby. That just threw my week into complete disorder. However, I learned a few important lessons from the week, and I'd like to share them with you.

1) God's grace and strength really are sufficient. There is no other reason I made it through Wednesday in particular. I was beyond exhausted, and yet somehow I was able to do all the things I normally do on a Wednesday - getting Harris to school, going to Bible study, getting everyone to church that night, and going to orchestra rehearsal. And I did it in a sweet attitude, which is proof that it was God's supernatural strength in me because I am not a nice person when I don't get enough sleep.

2) You can really feel people's prayers lifting you up if you take the time to notice. I already knew this, but it's always a cool thing to have reinforced. I noticed that the times I should have felt the sleepiest - like when I was driving - is when I felt the best. Or just when I was really dragging and thinking I wasn't going to make it after all, I would suddenly be filled with energy. I wish I could stay in that mind set of feeling God's grace and strength and the prayers of friends and family like that all the time. Not only is it encouraging, but it also would give me the courage to live the life God has called me to live.

3) The joy of the Lord is my strength. When I focused on myself and how tired I was, I felt terrible. I had someone in the middle of the day email me and remind me of that verse about the joy of the Lord being our strength, and so I decided to focus on that for the rest of the day. It was amazing the difference it made in how I felt.

4) Harris need more one-on-one time with Preston and me. He had some time with each of us by himself this past week and he just soaked it up. I was reminded once again that his love language is quality time. And it doesn't have to be anything fancy, just driving to the store or picking him up from school while David and Amy Beth stay home with Preston is enough to light up his face. I need to plan more opportunities for him to have that quality time with us.

5) Amy Beth can fall asleep sitting up. Bless her heart, not only did she not sleep well those two nights, but also Wedneday, after not sleeping the night before, hardly slept at all that day either. So on Thursday, even though she slept much better Wednesday night, she was still very tired. That afternoon, the kids and I went to Wal-Mart. I noticed Amy Beth was very still and sedate in the seat of the grocery cart. Usually she is looking all around her in a place like that, making sure she doesn't miss a thing. I was letting the boys look through the toy section when I noticed Amy Beth was sound asleep in the grocery cart! I wish I had had my camera with me. She was so sweet and cute that I couldn't let her just sleep there. I picked her up and let her sleep on my shoulder.

6) It is very difficult to hold a sleeping baby on one shoulder, push a shopping cart with the other hand, and keep up with 2 little boys in Wal-Mart, but it IS possible. However, I do not advise trying it out. My arm was like a wet noodle by the time I got to the car and was able to put Amy Beth in her car seat.

7) David is a very compassionate little boy. I knew he was with us. If Harris gets hurt or is upset, David stops whatever he is doing and goes and gets Harris' blanky for him. When I had my cold and he realized I didn't feel good, he brought me a "blanky". However, Saturday he did something that blew me away. We were at his best friend's birthday party, and they had a pinata. When the candy came pouring out and the kids were scrambling for it, one of the boys there was a little overwhelmed by it all and got upset. When David saw him crying, he took some of his goodies out of his bag (and he hadn't gotten a lot) and put them in this little boy's bag and tried talking to him to help him calm down. It was SO sweet and one of my proudest moments as a mom. Of course, I don't take credit for him being like that. It's just the way God made him, and I have a responsibility as his parent to not crush that sensitive spirit in him, and to hone it so that it becomes a characteristic that honors God and brings people to Him instead of something that just enables people to sin.

So there are my lessons from the week. Seven lessons for seven days. Even though it was a hard week, I am glad I had the chance to see and learn from it.

Which Photo Should I Choose?

2008-10-31T09:58:00.003-05:00

5 Minutes for Mom is having a "Fun with Food" photo contest, and I need your help. Which of these 2 pictures should I enter for the contest?

Amy Beth tries a taste of graham cracker at Grandma's house. The face says it all.

David enjoys one of his first meals of spaghetti. I would need to try and edit this one a little bit. I just don't have a good photo-editing program on my computer.

The Eagle Dream

2008-10-29T20:48:00.002-05:00

I believe in dreams. I believe God can speak to us through our dreams. Sometimes it can be very literal. Sometimes it is figurative and He will give you the interpretation for it (either to you personally or through someone else). Almost every time He speaks to us in a dream, though, it is to direct us in how or what to pray.

Below is a dream I had in November of 2005. I didn't think my blog would be the place where I would share these prophetic dreams, especially this one. I have shared it with a few people here and there as the Lord led me to, but I felt like I was supposed to keep it close to the chest, so-to-speak. However, I recently felt like God was telling me to put this dream on here - that it was time for it to be released to more than just a handful of people. I have been praying about it, to make sure it was really what God wanted me to do. He has confirmed it over and over again. So, in obedience to Him, here is my eagle dream.

I dreamed I was at a camp and saw people walking around with live eagles tethered to their arms - like trained falcons. I thought it was tragic that these magnificent creatures were being held captive.
I then entered a building and began talking with a mother and her son who had joined the military. As I was talking with them, I heard someone say the eagles were getting away. I rushed outside to see some of the eagles biting through their tethers and flying off. However, to keep them from escaping, someone released some hawks - one hawk per eagle. The hawks would fly up behind the eagle and bite at its feet or belly, which would kill the eagle. I was horrified and ran back into the building to find someone to help and stop the hawks. I saw a friend of mine talking on the phone. I told her what was happening and she said she would get some people to pray. I told her that was good, but we needed to also do something now. I went back outside and asked God to help me do something. When I did, one of the eagles flew down really low, with the hawk right behind it, so that I was able to reach out and grab it. I started to wring the hawk’s neck when I realized it was only a hot-air balloon device. It was easily popped. I started yelling for someone to come help me pop the hawks, but no one came. I was grabbing and popping the ones that I could reach as fast as I could, but there were too many hawks for me to handle by myself.
INTERPRETATION:
This was a dream about strategy. When the fight looks impossible, if we will look to our Commander-in-Chief (God), He will give us the strategy we need. But more people need to join the fight.
The Eagle = The Church in America
The Hawk = Demonic spirits - lying and fierce
Biting at the feet and stomach = The attacks were from behind and in the soft, vulnerable underbelly area. The eagles were not aware of it until it was too late. It represents - in part - backbiting among church members. It also represents "wolves in sheep’s clothing". Perhaps the reason the eagle didn’t perceive the threat is because all it saw was another bird and assumed it was one of them. There are people in our churches who - at first glance - look like us. They sound similar, look similar, and even move about like we do. But they are servants of the enemy who will come up and attack us when we least expect it and in our most vulnerable places.
Balloons popping = At first, the hawks looked fierce and intimidating, until I took action. In the flesh, it seemed like a foolish thing to do, but I didn’t take time to think about that. I just reacted to the first thing that came into my mind after asking God for help. We must be like that in the spiritual battles today. When we ask God for His strategy, we must trust and act on what He tell us to do without second-guessing or trying to figure out if it makes sense. Most of the time, it won’t make sense in our limited perspective.
Tethers: Obviously, a symbol of imprisonment. The tethered eagle is still a majestic, powerful eagle, but it is no longer able to soar as it was intended to do. In the long term, this is unhealthy and even potentially fatal to an eagle. And, in order to tether an eagle, it has to be willing to sit there long enough. It allowed itself to be tethered.
This is an analogy of the Church in America. We have dallied with the world and allowed the prince of this world to ensnare us. We still have the power and identity of Christ in us, but we cannot appropriate it to soar as God intended.
God is waking us (the Church) up, and some churches are breaking the tethers which never really had any power to hold us in the first place. This has enraged the enemy, and he is sending out his war-birds - his "birds of the air" - to attack the churches who are learning to soar again. The birds are the demonic spirits over the media, politics, and people’s voices. Through spiritual attacks, intimidation, and the court of public opinion, these hawks are seeking to destroy the churches that are remembering how to soar.
The body of Christ also needs to learn how to discern between true fellow believers and the ones who are there to attack us. There are those in the Body of Christ who are there on assignment from the enemy to disrupt, discredit, disorganize, and ultimately destroy. (And they may not even realize it.) Like Christ, we should love everyone who comes to us, but also use discernment to recognize who you are dealing with and be ready to call them out if it becomes necessary.
As individuals, it is our responsibility to stop the hawks. We cannot sit on our hands; we cannot just pray, even though that is a major part of the strategy, and we will not succeed without prayer. It must be our first priority. And we cannot be intimidated by these fierce-looking spirits. We must get out onto the field, ask God for His strategy, and reach out our hand (in faith) to whatever God tells us to do. When we do, we will realize the hawks are nothing but hot air and will easily be destroyed once they are within our grasp - as long as we are acting within the power of the Holy Spirit.

No Sweet Teeth Here!

2008-10-24T10:01:00.003-05:00

We have been having a heck of a time trying to get Amy Beth to eat baby food. Her pediatrician said not to worry, some babies just skip over it and go to table food, but she hasn't wanted the table food I've tried to give her either. I was at my wits' end, especially lately when it was becoming obvious that her bottle was not satisfying her anymore. And since this is my third baby, I know most of the tried and true tricks.

So I did what I always do when I've tried all my options and failed - I prayed about it. (You would think that I would have thought of this first, since I am the prayer team coordinator for our worship ministry at church, wouldn't you? It is disappointing to see how often I still try to rely on myself to get things done. No wonder we are referred to as sheep in the Bible, for I am just as dumb as one sometimes when it comes to submitting and depending on Him for everything. But I digress.) I asked God to show me what I needed to do to get Amy Beth interested in eating.

Last night I was very tired, so instead of preparing supper when I should have, I sat and watched "America's Funniest Videos" with the boys. They showed a clip of a little boy (younger than 2 years) who would throw a fit if you tried to make him eat a cookie or piece of cake, but ate broccoli like most kids eat a cookie. He couldn't eat it fast enough. I thought to myself that maybe that was Amy Beth's problem - maybe this was God's way of showing me what to try. Maybe Amy Beth didn't like the fruit and cereal stuff, but would like the non-sweet vegetables and such. The thought had crossed my mind before, but I never seriously considered it because my 2 boys have major sweet tooths (they take after Preston). So this morning I gave her some zwieback toast, which she enjoyed far more than she ever did the sweeter-tasting biter biscuits. Then we tried a jar of peas - and she LOVED it! And after eating her fill, she laid down and went right to sleep - which she has not done in a couple of days, but fighting sleep and crying instead.

I guess she's going to take after me. When I was little I didn't like sweet stuff, either. Too bad I grew out it.

Field Trip to the Pumpkin Patch

2008-10-23T20:18:00.011-05:00

Yesterday the Kindergarten classes went on a field trip to the Pumpkin Patch in Hargis. We had a great time, but I am still worn out. We went on a hike through the woods, took a hayride, watched the teachers roast hotdogs and marshmallows over a fire, ate the hotdogs and marshmallows (along with some other food), went through the actual pumpkin patch and saw the pumpkins that were growing on the vine - from little baby pumpkins to great humongous ones, visited the petting zoo, and sat in a tee-pee to listen to story, and then hiked back to where we started and picked out a pumpkin to take home with us. And all of it before noon! Here is our day in pictures.

Harris and his buddy Daniel. We rode up there with his mom and dad and another friend named Sam.

I'm sorry this one is so blurry. I was trying to keep up with everyone and take the picture at the same time. This was part of our hike.

Some of Harris' classmates: (from left to right) DJ, Riley, Daniel, Sam, and of course Harris

Daniel and Harris on the hayride.

Part of our group and the field where most of the activities took place. Look how blue the sky was. It was a gorgeous day!

Harris eating his lunch by the fire. He was not so sure about eating the hotdog since it was all blackened and shriveled from being cooked over an open flame, but he tried it and liked it.

The smoke kept getting in his eyes so he decided to sit in the grass with his back to the fire. Here he's eating the chocolate chip cookie for dessert.

The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!

Petting the pony/baby horse (depending on who was petting it.)

The real tee-pee they went in for a story time.

Harris' whole class.

A view of the lake through the trees on our hike back.

Beautiful butterfly on some beautiful flowers.

These flowers were so gorgeous!

And last but definitely not least - Harris and his pumpkin. When we got home, he was so excited to go put it out on the front porch. He has shown everybody who has been to our house his pumpkin and the spot he picked for it.

Amy Beth's Dress

2008-10-20T14:20:00.004-05:00

Here are some pictures of Amy Beth in her dress - the "name-brand" dress. I took these after we came home from church and lunch, so she was very tired, and was more interested in chewing on that yellow thing than looking cute for the camera. Go figure.

This is the dress and hat without the dress-coat.

This is with the dress-coat, which I liked much better.

The boys said they didn't like the hat because it made her look like a chef, and she was a baby - not a chef.

So what do you think? Not bad for $25, but still way more than I usually pay for clothes at Kids' Market.

Coincidences

2008-10-17T13:41:00.004-05:00

I have always said that I don't believe in coincidences. I believe in a Sovereign God who is in control of everything, and so if a seeming coincidence happens, it is probably God trying to get my attention about something. Recently I also learned that there is no Hebrew word for coincidence, which further supports my point of view.

So the other day, Monday, to be exact, I had 3 big coincidences. The first one actually started on Sunday night. I came home from "Adoration" at my church (which was SO good. They're always very worshipful, but the worship went to another level that night. Wow! But I digress.), and was fixing myself something to eat. For some reason, my mind started replaying a Christmas show that I had last seen as an older kid - Claymation Christmas was the name of it I think. I was remember one skit in particular where claymation bells were playing "Carol of the Bells" by hitting themselves upside the head with mallets. It was hilarious! The memory was playing so clearly in my head that I was smothering my laughter so that I wouldn't have to explain it to my husband, who would think I was nuts (and rightly so, probably). The next morning, my mom called me on my way to take Harris to school and asked if I could stop by Lowe's (where she works) on my way home and pick up Rusty, my brother, whose car is currently out of commission. He wanted to hang out with me for a while. So one of the first things he said once we got back to my house is, "Guess what I watched last night? Old home movies and things we recorded over the years. Do you remember Claymation Christmas?" !!!!! I was thinking about the show when he was watching it!!!! Now THAT is a seeming coincidence.

The second coincidence happened on my date with my husband that night. We were watching the movie, "Billy: the Early Years". (A great movie about Billy Graham - how he got saved and called to be an evangelist. It was so funny, moving, and convicting! I highly recommend seeing it! But, I digress again.) The actor playing young Billy was very easy on the eyes, and his mannerisms and the sense of humor that was written into the part made me think of Darrell, my other brother. I was wondering if maybe Darrell was meant to be an evangelist - or at least someone whose livelihood was in full-time ministry. In one scene, Billy is leading his first convert to the Lord and he asks the man's name. The man's name is Darrell! What a "coincidence"!

The third one happened at dinner after the movie. Our waiter (excuse me, I mean server) came up and at first I thought it was one of my step-father Hugh's, sons. (Yes, that would make him my step-brother, but I don't think of him like that. No hard feelings. It's just we were mostly grown when our parents got married, so we have never lived together like siblings.) Anyway, this guy had the same hair style, build, size, everything. He even sounded like him! All of this I take in within a couple of seconds. The server then introduces himself - his name is Brandon, which is Hugh's son's name!!!!! What are the odds, people?

So now I am prayerfully trying to figure out what God is trying to show me with these 3 big "coincidences" in one day? And all 3 had to do with either a brother or step-brother? Very weird. I almost wish I did believe in coincidences so that I could just chalk it up to that and forget about it.

New Template!

2008-10-15T23:28:00.003-05:00

So you probably already noticed - I changed my template for my blog. I originally chose the sky because of the title of my blog "Of Heaven and Earth" - and the template was the sky, which made me think Heaven. However, I wasn't liking it because it seemed too pale. I noticed as I go around reading my friends' blogs, the ones whose layouts I really liked were those with a darker colored background. I also didn't like the way that background color washed out the pictures I would post. So I went template hunting, and this is the one I liked the most.

So tell me. Did you prefer the old layout, or do you like this best? Let me know!

What's in a Name?

2008-10-14T21:52:00.004-05:00

The other day while shopping at Kids' Market, I was trying to decide between 2 different dresses for Amy Beth. Both were a lot of money (for a Kids' Market item), but both were really cute. I asked a fellow KM crazie which one she would choose. Her first question was, "What brand names are they?" This took me aback. That had never entered my consideration. But then I remembered the post Rachel had written about some boots someone had given to her for Ali. They were a brand name and a couple of people commented on it to talk about how awesome it would be to have that brand of boots for their little girl. I'm sorry, but I do not understand the fascination with brand names/designer clothing.

So I have been considering it ever since. What is the deal with brand names? I once thought maybe the brand named clothing was a better quality, but Rachel changed my mind about that when she wrote about her experience buying designer jeans. I know for some people it's a status symbol thing, but is that really the only reason? Is it just a matter of status, or is it something more? I would love your input into this and help me understand. Not that it will change how I feel about brand name versus generic, but I would like to know what makes someone pay, say $200 for a pair of jeans when a $30 pair work just as well? Can someone enlighten me?

Oh and for those who hate a dangling story, I ended up choosing the brand name dress. Not because it was a brand name, but because Amy Beth didn't have a dress that color. She'll be wearing it to church Sunday.

Happy Birthday, Mom!

2008-10-14T14:37:00.003-05:00

It seems I have a running tradition now to blog about the birthdays of my family or dear friends. So far be it from me to discontinue that for my mom.

My mom's birthday was Sunday, Oct. 12. We celebrated with her at lunch at Cracker Barrell - her favorite restaurant. This birthday was special because a) all three of her children were there at the same time, which was pretty amazing considering everyone's different schedules and b) She now knew that all three children were walking with the Lord - also very amazing considering both of my brothers' pasts. God is so good and faithful. If you are a mom who is desperately praying for a wayward child, don't give up. God hears your prayers and will answer them in His perfect timing and His perfect way. Hallelujah!

My mom is one of the most wonderful people I know. She does not judge anyone, but looks for and expects the best out of them. As a result, she wins friends and influences people quite easily. This is especially true for her kids. We knew that no matter what we did, or what was going on in our lives, she loved us unconditionally and would be our biggest support, our biggest cheerleader, and our best shoulder to cry on. Today, there are people in her life that cling to her whenever they are around her, because her positive attitude towards them and about them are like a breath of fresh air.

Mom was the 4th child born in her family, but the first girl. Years later, another boy was born, so she grew up with 5 brothers. This made her a bit of a tom-boy growing up. Her family was also a poor family (her dad was a mechanic) and so her and her brothers had to create ways to keep themselves entertained. As a result, we had the best, most entertaining childhood. She always encouraged us to use our imaginations. She also knows how to fix just about anything. There is no problem too daunting for her to take on. She spent summers when we were kids cleaning out the area behind our house that was overgrown with a little bit of everything, so we could get to the creek and play in it. She and Dad built one of my first bikes from spare parts - the best bike I ever had.

Now she is just as good a grandmother as she was (and is) a mother. My boys LOVE seeing Grandma, because there is never a dull moment when she is around. Her house is a place of never-ending adventure for them. She still teaches me things through her example - through her way of handling them. Rarely does my mom correct my methods of parenting, but instead knows that actions speak louder than words. Therefore, when she does say something to me - about anything - I pay close attention to her words of advice or admonition.

I could go on, but instead, I will turn this post over to my brother, Rusty, who is a poet (well, he's a rapper whose stage name is Poet). I asked him to come up with a poem in honor of mom for her birthday - 5 minutes ago. Here is what he wrote:

Today is the greatest day cause its the day you came from Heaven, and anybody who gets to know you gets to know a true blessin'. Even though I caused some major stressin when I was headed in the wrong direction, you always prayed for my protection to keep me from God's rejection. If it wasn't for you, I' d still be lost and confused, still runnin through these streets, not knowin' what to do. Now its all right mamma, you can sleep tonight mamma, and allow me to apologize for all of the drama but Im'ma take everything I learned, and use it in turn, to help other people so their soul don't burn. I know my gift of creativity comes from your blood, so does my passion and so does my love. I put nothing above, my respect for my mother and until the end of time there will never be another, that could be so strong and so warm-hearted, but I'm gonna end this now, even though I'm just gettin' started. Happy B'day Momma.

Happy Birthday, Mom! We love you SO very much!!

Some More David Stories

2008-10-11T11:37:00.003-05:00

At supper the other night, David kind of choked a little bit. Here is our conversation about it:

Me: Goodness, are you ok?

David: Yeah (we are still working on the "yes ma'am and yes sir" thing). It went down the wrong way.

Me: Oh, I'm sorry.

David: It turned left.

Me: It did what?

David: It turned left, but it was supposed to go right. That's where the food is supposed to go.

Me: Ohhh. So if the food is supposed to go to the right, what is supposed to go to the left? (I have a couple of ideas of what he'll say - i.e. my drink, my spit, etc. However, as usual, David comes up with something out of left field.)

David: My energy goes down that side!

My other David story for this week is when we were on our way home from shopping at Kids' Market - that's another story for another post. He was so good, though, that I let him pick out a toy while we were there. He picked out a bag of Hot Wheels cars, of course. They were in a ziploc bag that was also taped. On the way home, he managed to pull the tape off. Now when David has something that needs to be thrown away, he wants it thrown away now. I normally have a trash bag in the car for such things, but I took it out recently and have not replaced it yet. So David wanted me to take his tape right now! I told him I was busy driving. I suggested he stick it to his leg and when we got home, I would take it off and throw it away. He thinks this is a good idea. However, a few moments later, he starts telling me the tape is hurting his leg. Now if you have a 4 year old, you know that they sometimes say something is hurting just because they're not happy with something. I assumed this was the case. I explained that the tape could not possibly be hurting his leg and we would be home in a couple of minutes. David continues to complain, so once we stop at a traffic light, I turn around to take his tape from him - and see why it didn't feel so good. He had pulled up his pant leg and stuck the tape TO his leg! I guess I should have been more specific. It just struck me as hilarious that Mommy would make such a seemingly bizarre suggestion, and he happily (and literally) obeyed without question. I was laughing so hard I had tears running down my face. David did not see what was so funny about sticking tape to his leg, which made it even funnier to me. Although, it may be one of those, "You had to be there" moments. In which case, you should have been there.

Wordless Wednesday

2008-10-08T06:00:00.000-05:00

Kids' Market

2008-10-07T22:12:00.004-05:00

I LOVE Kids' Market - a huge consignment sale that is held every Spring and Fall. A friend encouraged me to go back in the Spring of 2003, when Harris was an infant, and I have been hooked ever since. After shopping that first sale, I then became a contributor, contributing my items to make some money and to be able to shop early at the contributor's sale. After doing that a few times, I decided to volunteer to work the sale. Volunteers only have to work 10 hours plus sorting/tear down night after the sale is over and we get to shop before even the contributors. So I did that for a few sales. However, I was not able to work this year's Spring or Fall sale. I couldn't work the Spring sale because I was on the tail end of my post-partum recovery after my C-section, and I can't work the Fall sale because I have a conflict with the sorting/tear down night which is a mandatory working night for volunteers (my conflict is the Steven Curtis Chapman/Michael W. Smith concert). I also did not contribute this year because I just didn't have the time and wherewithal to get my stuff together. So after being on all sides of Kids' Market, I've decided I like being a volunteer the best. Here are my top 10 reasons to be a Kids' Market volunteer: and besides number 1, these are in no deliberate order.

10) Much more time to shop. Workers' sale starts at 4pm and goes to Midnight. You might think you don't need that much time, but when you're shopping for clothes for 3 kids for the whole season, it takes a while.

9) You learn the "tricks of the trade" (i.e. - how to shop the sale). This is not like shopping at a department store. You gotta come prepared with a laundry basket or personal shopping cart, a blanket to spread on the floor to sort through all your grabs and decide on what you're actually going to buy, a drink (am I the only one who gets so dehydrated while shopping?), and a list of what you need and what sizes your kids are (if you're forgetful like me and can't remember - or accept the fact - that your oldest baby is wearing a size 5.)

8) You get to know the ladies who founded Kids' Market - Paige and Kim. They are 2 awesome women. They work harder than all of the volunteers put together and they genuinely appreciate and value their workers. Even though I haven't worked the sale in a year, they remember me and what was going on in my life when I last worked for them (my pregnancy). I just think that's remarkable for 2 women who are so busy and deal with so many people, and who only see me twice a year! They also have a personal relationship with Christ and begin every workers' sale event with prayer.

7) You get to know a bunch of other mothers in the community. I cannot tell you how many people I see around town that I think, "That lady looks so familiar to me." And then I realize it's because I worked with them at the sale. I can't say that I've developed bosom friends through the sale, but I have a large group of acquaintances that I run into all the time, and it's just fun seeing them again at every sale and catching up on each other's kids and things.

6) Did I mention you shop before everyone else? If you want to find the best deals, you have to get to the early workers' sale. You will find great stuff throughout the entire sale, but the best clothes at the best prices disappear fast. We're talking a boys' shirt and pants church outfit for $6 at the workers' sale versus the same type of thing for $12. Obviously, the steal deals go fast. I also hear of contributors who camp out in front of Kids' Market the Friday night before the first day of receiving sale items so they can get the first "priority numbers" and be the first people through the doors when the contributors' sale starts. Why go through all that when you can just volunteer to work for 1o hours (10 hours that are pretty much your choice to schedule) and go to the workers' sale, which is before the contributors' sale?

5) The interesting conversations you get to have or listen to while working. While helping a person get their tags pulled in order to check out, you can discuss everything from the weather, to sports, to kids, to achieving world peace. I love it.

4) Dinner is served. One way Kim and Paige show their appreciation to the workers is by feeding us at the workers' sale. Their husbands I think both work at Chick-fil-A (managers or owners or something) and so they bring in Chick-fil-A for us: chicken filet sandwiches, chicken salad sandwiches, chips, brownies, sodas, and nachos and cheese. They also keep bottled water on hand for us throughout the night - all at no cost to us. So we shop for a couple of hours, then they bring in the food, and we all sit around and eat dinner together. It's wonderful and so much fun!

3) NO kids at the workers' sale.

2) NO kids at the workers' sale.

And the number 1 reason I love volunteering for Kids' Market: No kids at the workers' sale!!!! Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and I like yours, but to me it is sheer luxury to shop for their clothes without hearing mine or anyone else's asking when will it be time to go home. During the public sale, kids are running all over the place, babies are fussing or crying, and at times it feels as if pandmonium were about to break out at any moment It's usally not that bad, though. But like I said, shopping for clothes with no children in sight - ahhh bliss.

Kids' Market's Fall and Winter sale is going on right now. They will be open this week until Saturday, and again next week Monday through Saturday. Next Thursday, most things will be 25% off and next Friday and Saturday, most things will be 50% off. If you have any questions you can check out their website or leave a comment here and I will try to answer it. Happy Shopping!

Milking the Soap?

2008-10-03T09:14:00.003-05:00

So yesterday, my mom, sister-in-law, and I were headed to the Southern Women's Show. I picked up mom from work, and she wanted to go get something to eat because she had not had time for lunch that day. The only place she was hungry for was Subway. Now, everyone knows you cannot eat a Subway sandwich in the car - unless of course, you plan on wearing most of it on your clothes. So we stopped in to eat. I ordered my favorite - Meatball Marinara and ended up dropping some on my blouse - a brand new one that I had never worn before, of course. I head to the bathroom in the hopes that a little dab of soap and some water will do the trick. When I walk into the bathroom, I notice something on the sink. It's a bag of pink stuff with an odd-looking tube thing attached to it. After glancing around for the soap dispenser, I realize that this bag of pink goo with the tube IS is the soap. Let me profusely apologize for not having a picture of it. My camera was out in the car, but I cannot describe just how unappealing, and even suggestive-of-something-naughty-looking, this thing was. I was determined to get the sauce off of my shirt, so I try to get the soap out of the bag through the tube. I squeezed, pushed, twisted, to no avail. Only by employing a pull-squeeze manuever was I able to get the soap out. Fortunately, the sauce washed off of my shirt, and I had a funny little thing to post on my blog - about the day I learned how to milk the soap.

Thankful Thursday

2008-10-02T10:06:00.003-05:00

Today I am thankful that my youngest brother, Rusty, is now my brother in Christ! Last week, he met with Pastor Harry who led him to the Lord! Hallelujah! My family has been praying for this for such a long time. Now, with the exception of Amy Beth, all of my immediate family (parents, siblings, husband, children) know the Lord as their personal Savior! Hallelujah! What a blessing!

Now, on a shallow note. (That seems to be my theme for these Thankful Thursdays - a deep and a shallow one) I am thankful for the new bag I bought earlier this week. I'll have more on that later. Oh, I'm also thankful for being able to go to the Southern Women's Show with my mom and new sister-in-law later today! It will be so much fun!

A Bit About Bags

2008-10-01T22:09:00.006-05:00

I got a new bag this week. I love it. My old bag was practical. It was the black canvas tote from Books-a-Million that everyone else at church also has - well, maybe not EVERYone, but a bunch of 'em do. But I was beginning to have problems with it - namely, it wasn't big enough to hold the stuff I needed to put in it. I mean, it held it all, but only if you stuffed it. I do not like stuffed bags because inevitably, whatever you need to get out of the bag is always at the bottom. And since I have 3 kids and their stuff in tow as well, I am usually one-handed (at best) as I root through everything to find what I need. The other problem is that the only pockets were 3 on the outside - and they were small. I used one to hold my cell phone, one for my pens, which I learned the hard way is not an ideal place to keep pens (in an outside pocket). I broke my favorite one because I got bumped up against a wall, with my bag between me and the wall. RIP, favorite pen... But I digress, and one stayed empty because I didn't have anything else that small to fit in it. Here is a picture of my practical black bag.

And here it is stuffed with all my stuff that I would take to church or Bible study. I don't have it propped open, it gaps open like that because of all the stuff that is in it.

Well, I saw this new bag at Lifeway, and I had to bring it home. I used a gift card to buy it (along with an awesome CD - "Revival in Belfast"). The bag is bright red, which is not a color I normally choose, but something about this drew me. (And I'm told that red is the new black and can go with anything.) It has crosses on the outside of the bag, and a metal Christian-fish emblem hanging on the handle. It's beautiful!

Here is the new bag with all my stuff in it. There are two pockets on the inside. One is the perfect size for my pocket planner and pens, and one is the perfect size for my cell phone. It also has 2 big pockets on the outside - on each end. It's a great place to keep my keys. No more hunting in the bottom of the black bag to find them!

So, if you're in the market for a new bag, go by Lifeway. They had them in different sizes and another color (kind of a champagne/beige-ish color). My bag is the biggest one they had. Did I mention I love it?

My Sleeping Angel

2008-10-01T09:43:00.004-05:00

5 Minutes for Mom is having another photo contest! This time the prize is a beautiful new bedroom set. I would love the Lily Rose set for my baby girl. This picture is of David, my middle child. We call him the Energizer Bunny, because he just keeps going and going and going. However, on this particular day, even the Energizer bunny ran out of steam while playing with his beloved Thomas the Tank engine set and sporting his beloved Pixar Cars shirt. It just captures exactly who he is - and it was taken exactly one year ago today!

Inside the Dreams of a 4-year-old

2008-09-27T20:04:00.004-05:00

I love dreams. I love talking about them. I love listening to other people relate their dreams to me, and analyzing what they might mean. So naturally I encourage my kids to tell me their dreams if they remember them.

Today, David came to me and said he dreamed something a long time ago, which in a 4-year-old's chronology, could mean last night. In his dream, he said he was hungry, so he ate it. Here is the conversation after that point.

Me: "What is it you ate?"

David: "My dream."

Me: "You ate your dream?"

David: "Yep!"

Me: "What does a dream taste like?"

David: "Like chicken!" Of course it does. I should've known.

SMCS Homecoming

2008-09-27T09:40:00.004-05:00

Last night my boys and I went to SMCS' Homecoming. I am an alumni, and Harris is now a student. I have been wanting to go for a few years now, but something always came up to prevent me from going. So I was really excited to be able to go this year. I was planning on going by myself, but the boys really wanted to go, and I'm glad they came with me, even though it kept me from getting up and mingling as much as I would have liked.

A lot of things have changed since my Homecoming days as a student there. Not the least of which is the fact that we now have a football team - AND a marching band! We've had a football team for 2 years now (or is it 3?), but this was the first year we had a marching band! When I was a student/band member, Homecoming occurred in February during basketball. The band would sit in the bleachers and deafen everyone in that small gym we played in. So it was a treat to see the band playing some songs on the field. I was expecting them to do a half-time show, but for some reason they didn't, which was a little bit of a bummer.

When we first got there, we were directed to the alumni tent. If you are reading this and are an SMCS alum, you should try and go to Homecoming next year. They treat you pretty good - free brownies, chips, drinks, and a gift. Then you all stand on the track and get introduced and welcomed back by Mr. Crump, the current headmaster.

Harris immediately found some class mates of his. It was funny but surreal to watch him hang out with his friends like some big kid. David, of course, wanted to do everything Harris was doing. I was afraid they would get bored during the game and Homecoming court. However, there were plenty of people and things to keep them occupied. For the first little while, they watched the game. Then Pastor Jeff (the member care pastor at our church) came along and they had fun playing with him. After that, Bob and Greta showed up with Sam. The boys enjoyed entertaining Sam - especially David. They also occupied themselves chasing each other up and down the stadium steps, making me a little nervous although they were good about holding on to the railing at all times.

As I got into the game and started cheering, Harris caught on. So everytime the players started a play, Harris started clapping, jumping, and cheering them on. Things like, "Go Eagles! Good job!" "Go Eagles! Get 'em!" and at one point I heard, "Good job Eagles! You're gettin' the hang of it!" David would holler whenever he heard Harris holler, but I'm not sure he knew why we were all hollering. David's main interest was the band. Whenever they started playing, David would stop wherever he was and start dancing. Harris didn't like the music as much. He thought it was too loud and would run and bury his head in my lap - until about the 4th quarter when he finally got used to it and started dancing with David.

I also saw JC and Lindsay show up with Eli. I never got a chance to get close enough to say hi - or more importantly, to hold Eli, but I watched him get passed around. At one point, Beverly and Phillip W. were holding him. They took a SMCS baseball cap and put it on him. It was so cute! That was the only time that night I regretted not having a camera with me. Fortunately, Rachel Jones was sitting nearby and had her camera - of course. So look for it on Facebook or her blog.

It was a great night. Topped off by the fact that the Eagles won!! Go Eagles!! This was their first win of the season. Maybe I'm a good luck charm and should go to all of their games - or mabye it's the boys. As we were leaving, both Harris and David asked when we could come to another game. Soon, I hope. And next time, I hope Preston and Amy Beth can come with us.

The Wedding

2008-09-26T22:49:00.005-05:00

My dad, brothers Rusty and Darrell, Cindy, me, Harris and David

Okay, sorry I've made you wait almost a week for a post about the wedding. I am usually just too brain-dead to blog at night anymore, and that's really the only time I have these days to do this.

The wedding was beautiful! Cindy, my sister-in-law :D, had no wedding planner, and yet what she pulled off on her own looked like something that could be featured in a Southern Bride magazine! Darrell and Cindy were married at a place called Capps Cove, in a little country church that looks like something you would see in Cades Cove up in the Smoky Mountains. It was a gorgeous location with woods all around - perfect for a Fall-themed wedding. Cindy was a gorgeous bride, too. She is naturally a pretty woman, and her sweet spirit makes her beautiful, but when I saw her just before the wedding, it literally took my breath away.

The boys did very well. They were excited to wear their suits once they saw Uncle Darrell was wearing one. They did get a little tired of all the pictures they had to pose for. They were getting pretty hyper with all the excitement and commotion going on, so just before the wedding started, I reminded them of what they were supposed to do and went and sat down. They did the walk down the aisle perfectly!!! I was SO proud of them! They went and stood exactly where they were supposed to as well. David got tired pretty quickly and decided to cop a squat right there on his spot. At one point he fell over backwards while squatting and hit his head on the floor. It made a loud thud on the wooden floor, and he would have started crying except that everyone giggled when it happened, and David LOVES to make people laugh, so he was quite pleased with himself over it. He did finally melt down and start to cry, so my mom just took him and held him on her lap and that made him happy.

Harris did great the whole time! He stood and held the ring box (David had the ring pillow) the whole time. He did keep turning around at me every few minutes to make sure he was doing the right thing. I made the mistake of giving him a thumbs-up one time, so then he would turn around and give me a thumbs-up every few minutes. When it came time for them to exchange rings, the preacher came and took the box from Harris, instead of just taking the rings like they had rehearsed the night before. Harris put his hands on his hips and was quite indignant for a minute, but he got over it and stood there tall and still until Darrell and Cindy were pronounced husband and wife, at which point Harris runs to me and says, "Mommy, I did it! I did it!"

Amy Beth sat in my lap the whole time. She was trying to get fussy a couple of times, but nothing too disturbing or distracting. She was very good considering she missed her afternoon nap all-together. She did spit up all over her pretty dress, but fortunately it was after everything was over and we were about to change the kids anyway for the trip home.

It was as perfect a wedding as you can hope to have, I think. God had His hands all over it. Everything came together like it was supposed to, the boys did great, as did the flower-girl (Cindy's neice). God even let the rain cooperate. Just as we were finished with the combined family pictures after the wedding and heading in to the reception area (up the hill a little bit from the church), it started to sprinkle. It apparently rained pretty good while everyone was inside eating at the reception It ended in time for Darrell and Cindy to get in their going-away clothes and have those pictures done and to drive away.

A couple of funnies from the weekend:

1) At the rehearsal, Darrell was standing at the front, along with the pastor who was walking them through the process, and Cindy and her dad came up to the front. As they were all standing there listening to the pastor's instructions, Harris turned to me and said, "Mommy, which one is she gonna marry?"

2) At the reception, the boys found some other kids to play with and took off. I wasn't too concerned because it was a small place. However, we couldn't find David. Someone said he was with Uncle Darrell who was changing clothes getting ready to leave. Preston and I went to the van to start putting things away and get ready to leave ourselves. Suddenly David comes running up as fast as he can go and said, "Mommy, Daddy! I knew where our car was! I found it, 'cause I was lost, you know." He said it so calmly that I thought he was just pretending or that someone had told him to find us before he got lost. However, the more he talked about it, the more I realized he really had been lost. After telling us all about it he said, "Being lost is no fun. I don't think I'll do that ever again."

Harris and David hanging out at the rehearsal

Cindy's neice, Annaka, who was the flower girl.

Annaka loved my boys. Harris was very sweet to her right away. It took David a little bit to warm up to her. Here they are all holding hands at the prayer bench.

Harris sitting in Aunt Cindy's lap. He LOVES her, so much so that he chose to sit by her instead of beside Grandma at the rehearsal dinner. That has never happened before.

My mom with my 3 children. They were just hanging out, but the colors were so pretty that I had to take a picture. Amy Beth thought the bow on her dress was very tasty.

Darrell, Harris and David are waiting for Cindy. Darrell is such a good uncle, I can't wait to see the kind of father he will be one day.

This is just one of the times that Harris looked back at me to make sure he was doing the right thing - and that I was paying attention to him. He was so proud of himself.

I love this picture of David. All dressed up in his little man suit, but just a-swinging those legs like the little boy that he is. At this point he was getting tired of having his picture taken.

Mother and daughter. Before I know it, it will be her wedding I am attending. **tear**

Day Over

2008-09-20T21:59:00.005-05:00

So today was Darrell and Cindy's wedding. It was the sweetest, most beautiful wedding I have ever seen. Knowing all that my brother has been through, and how long Cindy has waited and prayed for God's choice to be her husband made it all the more special. Prayers were answered, and God was glorified. I think every family member - from both sides - got teary-eyed at least once. For Darrell, it was when he danced with our mom at the reception to the song, "Hello Mama" by the Kingdom Heirs. It's sung from the perspective of a man who is thanking his mom for all her prayers, and telling her that she doesn't have to worry any more because he has found Jesus and all her prayers were answered. Mom and Darrell both cried through the whole thing. (Now I'm crying.) How good God is to have answered all those prayers in such generous ways. As dark and hopeless as things looked sometimes in Darrell's life, God used ALL of it for Darrell's good, and for His glory. Mom, if you read this, thank you for praying and never giving up on him. Darrell, I am so proud of you and love you so very much. Cindy, thank you for being the answer to a lot of those prayers, and for making my brother the happiest man alive. Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!

I will post pics and funny moments later. But it has been a long day, and church is tomorrow, so I need to go to bed. My sweet David said it best as I was getting him ready for bed (and he couldn't hardly hold his eyes open), "Day Over."

No Cups for Kids????

2008-09-18T21:01:00.007-05:00

So today the kids and I had lunch with my father-in-law at one of those restaurants that's not exactly fast food, but it's not a nice, sit-down kind of place, either. I guess one could describe it as a type of small diner. I ordered our food, and then ordered 2 kids drinks. The lady taking our order apologetically told me that they don't really have kid-sized drinks, just the regular adult-size, but that it came with a lid. When she showed me the cups, I couldn't help but notice small, kid-sized cups next to the ones she was showing me. I asked her about them, and this is how the conversation went:

Lady: "We don't really have kid drinks here, just these regular-sized cups with lids. (holds one up)

Me: "Well, what about those little ones right beside the regular ones?"

Lady: "Those are for coffee"

Me: "Could you not let me have those for the kid drinks and charge the coffee or half the drink price?"

Lady: "No ma'am. But I can charge you for a regular size and just let you use these little ones!"

Me: "No thanks. If you're going to charge me full price, then I want the full-sized cups." (even though the boys will just waste half of what is put in there, I thought)

She then turns to my father-in-law after he orders a drink and says, "Sir, do you want a regular drink, or would you like our special senior-size. AND HOLDS UP THE SAME LITTLE CUP!!!! I'm very confused, why would they have a special size and price for seniors, but not for kids? Do they think that seniors suddenly lose the ability to handle a full-size drink? Personally, if I was a senior, I would be insulted. If you're trying to do the senior citizens a favor, then offer a special seniors' discount on the regular-sized drink!

After ordering, I noticed there was only one high chair, and it was being used. So I asked the same lady if they had any more high chairs somewhere. She said they didn't but they did have a booster seat that I could use. I thanked her, but explained that a baby is too small to use a booster seat. She said, "Oh, but you can turn it over, and it has a deeper seat on the other side!" Like that was the solution to keep a baby from falling out onto the floor. This woman obviously did not have kids.

I tell ya, it was a very good thing I remembered just in time that I was wearing a shirt advertising my church, or I would have probably become at least a little un-Christ-like.

Another Thankful Thursday

2008-09-18T21:01:00.004-05:00

I have 3 things to be thankful for today. Well, actually I have TONS to be thankful for, but I will only blog about 3 of them today.

1) I am thankful for the VERY short line (only 2 people) when I went to get my driver's license renewed this afternoon. I had been procrastinating getting it done because I hate standing in the long lines, so it was a pleasant surprise when I walked in and saw just 2 people in line ahead of me! In related gratitude, I am also thankful for the sweet, smiling lady who was doing the renewals. I think it was the first time I have ever seen someone at that job who looked like they enjoyed it.

2) I am thankful that Rachel had an easy surgery today, and that her sweet husband posted a note on her blog to let her readers know as soon as he had talked to the doctor.

3) Last but definitely not least, I am SO thankful that my brother, Darrell, is getting married to Cindy this Saturday!!!! Darrell was actually married a couple of years ago, but his wife walked out after only a couple of months. He was so hurt and devastated, but he kept his eyes on God and trusted in Him no matter how dark things looked. God has rewarded Darrell's faithfulness by giving him the desires of his heart in Cindy. She is one of the sweetest, most thoughtful, and godliest women I know. She and I have so much in common, so it will be a lot of fun to have her for a sister-in-law. ---Wait, I don't mean we have all those superlative adjectives in common, I mean other things, like our love for "Anne of Green Gables" and for Japanese steakhouses.
Both of my boys are going to be in the wedding. We tried on their suits today and they looked SO cute! I will post pics as soon as I can.

Thankful Thursdays

2008-08-28T13:35:00.004-05:00

My friend, Rachel, has started a new weekly column called, you guessed it, Thankful Thursdays. She encouraged her fellow bloggers to play along. And since I need to be much better at focusing on my blessings in life, I thought this would be a great tool to help me with that.

Today just happens to be my birthday, and so today I am thankful for 31 years of life. It has been a full life, with great times, hard times, and in-between times; with love, laughter, and tears. The Bible says that God has written our days in His book, so the only reason I have had these 31 years, and all the blessings that came with them, is because He willed it. I am thankful that He thought I was worth creating, that He felt the world was missing something, and so He created me to fill that particular void. The Bible also tells us that He created us for "such a time as this." So, I am also thankful that He does have a purpose and a plan for me. I am thankful that I know I am walking in His will and have some idea as to what that purpose is - that's a great feeling!

I am thankful that I know I have eternal life - not in this world, but in one far, far better than anyone can imagine. I am extremely thankful that Jesus Christ died on the Cross - for ME - to give me that eternal life and a relationship with Him in this world. I am thankful that He loves me that much.

I am thankful for my mother, who is the best mom anyone could have. I am thankful that she had the faith to wait on me when it took her a while to get pregnant, and that she had the faith and boldness to ask God for a girl with red hair. I am thankful for how she raised me from the start to obey and love God. My mom was always my biggest supporter and encourager. She loved me when I was difficult to love, and she never stopped believing in God's best for me. She has always been quick to love and quick to speak the Truth in love. And even though she was always my mom first, she has also been my best friend. I am thankful for her and the awesome relationship we have.

And that is my thankful Thursday thought for this week!

A Lesson from the Hummingbird

2008-08-25T22:11:00.005-05:00

I have always been fascinated with hummingbirds. I love how they flap their wings so fast, their cute little size, the pretty flowers they drink out of, etc. However, until recently it seemed that I rarely saw hummingbirds. My mom talked about seeing them all the time at her house, but she has a feeder for them. Yet when I would go to her house, I would always just miss them when one of them would come up to feed. A little over a year ago, Preston and I took a trip to the mountains. I was relaxing on the deck of our chalet when all of a sudden I heard this very loud buzzing noise. I was alarmed, thinking somewhere near me is a HUGE bug, but when I looked in the direction of the noise, instead of a bug, it was a pretty little hummingbird - not more than 4 feet from me!
The other day my mom gave us a hummingbird feeder and even hung it up for us, right outside our kitchen window by our table. I was skeptical. It seems very late in the season for hummingbirds to find new sources of food, and I never see them around here anyway, I thought. Imagine my surprise when that same afternoon we had our first hummingbird visit our feeder! Since then, we have one every several minutes come up to the feeder, even while we are all sitting right there at the window!
Now that I have had several days to get to know these amazing creatures a little better, I am much better at recognizing them. Before, I could be sitting at my kitchen table, see something dart past outside from the corner of my eye, and I assumed it was a large bug (a very fast bug, I often wondered just what kind of bug was it that could fly that fast.) I would also sometimes see a tree branch move suddenly, without any seeming reason. Now that I have gotten to know the hummingbirds better - how they move and fly, what they look like better than I did before, etc. - I can see them all over the place. I now know that thing I saw zooming past my window was a hummingbird, when that branch starts to move, I can now see the hummingbird that just landed on it. Because I spent time getting to know the hummingbird, I can see it more easily and enjoy its presence more often.
The same is true of our walk with God. There are so many times when we want to "see" God, to see Him working around us. If we are seeking His will for something, we keep an eye out, hoping to find the path He wants for us, and getting frustrated and confused when it seems that He isn't showing us that path or speaking to us. Maybe it's because we are not spending enough time with Him. He wants us to spend time at His window (the Bible), so that we can learn more about His character, and how He moves and acts. When we do, we will suddenly realize that it's much easier to see Him moving around us. We will recognize His movements and be able to discern what He is showing us. When "weird" things happen, things that don't seem to have an explanation, we will recognize that it was God orchestrating something. Before, some things looked ugly and undesirable (like the giant bugs I thought I was seeing), but after we sit at that Window, we will recognize that it is God moving - just in a way we weren't expecting. I know I need to spend more time at that Window, sitting and watching the way God moves throughout Scriptures. Because when I do, I will recognize Him more easily and enjoy His presence more often.

The Gospel According to a Three-Year-Old

2008-08-22T21:20:00.003-05:00

Today after picking Harris up from school, we went to get the boys' hair cut. They were way past needing it. I don't normally go with them, because my father-in-law always takes them. It's a treat the boys always look forward to. I was with them today because we went straight after picking Harris up from school and eating lunch.
David went first today. I could hear his sweet voice, but wasn't paying much attention to what he was saying until I heard, "But I'll miss my house when I get to Heaven." It cracked me up. I am so glad he couldn't see me, because I try hard not to laugh when they are saying something very serious to them but hilarious to me. I decided I should listen a little closer. The rest of what I heard went something like this. (I never heard Mr. Linn respond. He wasn't talking as loudly as David was.) "Do you know how to get to Heaven? You have to believe in the Cross that Jesus died on. I have Jesus in my heart." He was witnessing to this man cutting his hair!!!! How adorable and amazing!! I was so proud and so convicted. I am not nearly as quick to share the Gospel as I should be, but I was just like David when I was little. I witnessed to everyone I saw.

Lord, help not to be ashamed of the Gospel, "for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes." Help me to see the divine appointments you set for me, and give me the courage to speak boldly of you. Just as I speak about my husband or kids to anyone and everyone who will listen, give me the same kind of passion when it comes to speaking about you. And please don't let David lose that boldness he had today when talking about You. To God be the Glory. Amen.

2008-08-22T21:20:00.000-05:00

Kindergarten Orientation and the First Day of School!

2008-08-22T19:57:00.009-05:00

So yesterday was Kindergarten orientation day! We have been SO excited about this day! Harris has been ready to start school since he was three. (Takes after his mommy. I was the nerdy kid who loved school - at least most of the time.) My mom came and stayed with the two little ones, so it was just Harris, daddy, and mommy. He rarely gets us all to himself, so that alone was a treat! At orientation, we learned who Harris' teacher would be - Mrs. Cvacho, who seems very sweet. Our first impressions of her are wonderful! She took the students and parents to her classroom (which happened to be the same classroom I had in Kindergarten!), where she gave instructions and helpful info to the parents while the kids had a snack and colored a picture. Then there were a lot of things to sign up for and forms to fill out. (Now, I'm kinda nerdy and LOVE filling out forms, but it was a bit much even for me. However, I was sitting in the back of a very crowded room filled with excited kids and anxious parents, which made it less than ideal.) Before we knew it, it was time to go home. Harris was a little disappointed that it was over so soon. I assured him that the next day would last longer.

One thing I was a little nervous about was the fact that we didn't know any of the kids or parents. I knew I would get to know them over the course of the year, but it would have been nice to have started out knowing at least one person. But God arranged a meeting that only He could have. After we left the school, we took Harris to Chik-Fil-A for lunch. Another vehicle pulled into the parking lot as we did, and out came two girls not just from Kindergarten, but from Harris' class! Both of the girls moms were with them. We sat next to them and over the course of the conversation, I found out that one of the moms grew up in Bessemer, like me, and now lives in McCalla, like my brother. The other mom uses the same doctor for her OB/GYN as I do! How cool is that?! Harris and the 2 girls had a little bit harder time hitting it off, but they warmed up to each other by the end of lunch.

Today was the potentially hard day. The day I would have to leave Harris at school. I wasn't worried about him, but I wasn't sure I would be able to just drop him off and drive away without getting emotional. Harris bounded out of the car, and into the capable care of the teachers who were working the carpool line, and I drove off. My heart was pounding, but I didn't break down. Instead of going home and dwelling on my baby being in school, I ran errands with David and Amy Beth. Did you know that there are no crowds at Wal-Mart at 8:30 in the morning, and none at the Galleria at 10 am? It was awesome! I could get used to that. Before I knew it, it was time to pick up Harris. He came bounding out of the building with a huge smile on his face. One of the carpool teachers said, "I think Harris had a GREAT first day today!" Over lunch, he told me all about the day. His favorite part was playing on the playground. His second favorite part was going on a tour of the whole school building - especially the library!! He made some new friends, enjoyed the snack I had packed for him, and he likes his teacher. You just can't ask for a better first day! Praise the Lord!

A Sign of the Times

2008-08-18T14:14:00.003-05:00

When I was a kid, there were certain things that I took for granted that my parents had not had when they were kids - air conditioning, cable TV, microwaves, etc. And now that I am an adult, I realized that there were things my kids take for granted that I did not have as a child - internet, cell phones, digital cameras, phones that double as cameras, etc. However, yesterday I was taken aback by one thing my kids apparently take for granted. In the interest of trying to not look and feel like a pack mule, I was not bringing the boys' drink bottles with us to church. David (my 3-yr-old) noticed and protested. I told him that he didn't need his juice because the teachers would have water to drink for them at church. He said he didn't like water. I said, "Don't be silly. You love water." In his MOST indignant voice, he said, "But Mommy, at church, they make us drink SINK water!"

And that is what they call a generation gap, and a sign that I am now officially old!

Tag, You're It!

2008-08-12T14:45:00.003-05:00

This is a game of blog tag. I have been tagged by my friend, Meredith. Her blog is Strength in the Struggle.

Here are the rules:

1) Link to the person who tagged you.

2) Post the rules on your blog (copy and paste 1-6).

3) Write 6 random things about yourself (see below).

4) Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them.

5) Let each person know they have been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.

6) Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

6 Random things about me:

1) I kept my middle name when I got married. Why? Because I love my middle name, Hope, and the story behind it, and because my maiden name and married name sound creepy together - Jennifer Webb Weed

2) I can touch my nose with my tongue.

3) I wanted to marry Jon Spain....in K-5.

4) I never wanted to have kids until I started dating Preston.

5) I LOVE Steven Curtis Chapman!!!!! I listen to him almost exclusively.

6) I am having a hard time typing this because I have a baby in my lap whose favorite game lately is kicking anything within reach of her feet, which at the moment, are my hands and the keyboard. (She just woke up from a nap.) - Hey, it may not be interesting, but it is random!

I am going to tag:
Rachel

Amanda C

Jaci

Tim

Greta

Jarrod

Sun and Suds at the Weed Wash

2008-08-05T00:33:00.012-05:00

As anyone who lives in Alabama knows, August is a miserably hot month - hot and humid. The past few days the boys have been staying indoors most of the time because they couldn't stand being outside for long. As a result, they have been going stir crazy and jumping off the walls - or at least the furniture and each other. We have been trying to do fun outings - that take us places in doors - like the McWane Center. However, it takes gas money to go places, and it's a challenge to get the baby out and about all the time.

Today was no different. The heat index for today was 108 degrees F. The boys wanted to go out and play, but they couldn't stand it for long. Inside, they were loud, rambuctious, and wanting to spend way too much time on the computer or watching TV. So, what's a mom to do? I put them in their swim shorts and Crocs, and sent them outside to play in the water hose. Well, that lasted all of 10 minutes before they were saying, "What else can we do with this besides just spray each other?" Hmmmm.....

My eyes landed on all their dump trucks, riding toys, and stuff sitting against the house. I have been wanting to clean them for quite some time, but alas, it hasn't happened yet. (It's all I can do to clean the stuff inside the house, forget about the outside stuff.) So, I said - in my most excited voice. "How about I fill a bucket up with water and sudsy soap, and y'all can have a car wash for all your toys!" They thought I had just suggested the most awesome thing ever, and so the Weed Wash was started. So I got out the bucket, filled it with water and "Thomas the Train" bubble bath soap (so as to get the most bubble for our buck and to keep any eyes from burning should they get some soap in their eyes), gave them both a rag, and let them have at it. We set all the vehicles/toys up in the shade, and after each one was washed and rinsed, they would push them out into the sun to dry. They spent the next 2-3 hours out there, and were worn out when they finally came in. Mission Accomplished!!!!! And, as a bonus, the toys are now (somewhat) clean! Little did they know that what I had really done was put them to work.

Harris gets the tricycle good and clean

David rinses it off.

Harris and David wash one of their cars.

They even washed their lawn mower.

Most (not all) of the vehicles washed at the Weed Wash.

After washing the cars, they thought they should wash themselves.

And yes, in case you're wondering, that really is our back yard. Isn't it awesome?

Summer Fun = Water Ballon Fights

2008-08-01T11:24:00.005-05:00

This is for an entry that 5 Minutes for Mom is having. This photo marks the beginning of a new family tradition. We went to Grandma's house (my mom's) for a cookout - and a water balloon fight broke out! As you can see from the photo, the boys had a blast, so we decided this is what we will do every year for the 4th of July.

2008-07-30T22:27:00.001-05:00

I Sam. 17:40 - "Then he took his staff in his hand, chose five smooth stones from the stream, put them in the pouch of his shepherd's bag and, with his sling in his hand, approached the Philistine."

I Peter 2:5 - "you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood..."

A couple of years ago, God showed me some cool things about how we are like the 5 stones David chose out of the stream. However, I was hesitant to share it with anyone because I couldn't remember a place in the Bible where God uses stones as an analogy, and I like using analogies that are backed up with Scripture. Well, the other day as I was reviewing my notes on the stones, God reminded me of the I Peter 2:5 verse!!! So, here goes...

Notice the verse says David chose 5 smooth stones. Stones are not naturally smooth. Instead, they are naturally hard, rough, and lumpy. So how did they become smooth? By being tossed about by the water. The stream carried them from their point of origin, when they were in their natural state, to the place where David could make use of them. Along the way, they were bumped and battered. If stones were animate, they would have been thinking, "We're scared and hurting. We can't control this or where it's taking us, and we don't like it." But it was a necessary process to be formed into the shape the shepherd could use. Likewise, we are battered by the storm-tossed waves in our lives to be formed into the tools that our Shepherd can use.
Notice also that it says David chose the stones. God has chosen you for a specific purpose and season. Who knows how long it was after the stones had settled in this part of the stream before David came along. It may have been a time of rest and refreshment before they came into the purpose for which they were created. Do you feel like you are sitting in one place, waiting to fulfill your purpose - whatever that may be? Be still and know that He is God (Ps. 46:10). God may have you in that place, waiting for the time and purpose for which He has chosen and ordained you. If you're in the stream, being refreshed, enjoy it. That's what He wants you to do. If you're still being tossed about by the water, know that it is for your ultimate good and His glory. Wherever you are, just know that it is where you are supposed to be right now.

More points will come in subsequent posts. Putting it all in one post will take too long to read.

Girls Beach Trip!!!

2008-07-28T21:53:00.011-05:00

This past weekend I went to the beach - with no husband or kids. It was with a group of 12 girls (wives and mothers) from my Sunday School class. I was very hesitant about going, since I had a little baby I would be leaving behind. I knew the boys would be fine, but I wasn't so sure about Amy Beth. Preston and several friends urged me to go, and after praying about it, I decided to go. I am so glad I did. It was my third year to go on the trip, and by far the best trip yet! (And between Preston and my mom, Amy Beth did just fine.)

We stayed at a condo just inside the Florida state line, in Perdido Key. It was a 3 bed, 3 bathroom condo with incredible views from almost every room. Of course, it's hard not to have incredible views when you are staying on the 17th floor!

There were 4 to a bedroom. The plan was 2 people in each room would take a bed, and 2 would sleep on air mattresses that we brought. The last couple of years I have gotten to sleep in the bed. The first year because they were being nice to me since I was new to the trip, and last year because I was pregnant. So, I figured it was time for me to sleep on an air mattress. I filled it up, put my cute, pink gingham sheets on it, only to discover it flat as a pancake when it was time for bed. Fortunately, I was in a room with a King-size bed and 2 very sweet ladies (Michelle Little and Kari Ingram) who offered to let me sleep in the bed with them. I was dubious to the success of such a plan, but we all fit. It was quite snug, in a comfortable way, and not too crowded. I was amused at the thought of 3 grown women in one bed.

Every year we end up coming home with a "beach story" - sometimes funny, sometimes dramatic, but always entertaining when rehearsing them for everyone at home. One year was the van that broke down in the parking lot as we were getting ready to leave. (Actually, it was flooded because someone drove through what looked like a puddle but was really a small pond in the middle of the parking lot.) How many ladies does it take to fix a van or figure out what to do? Apparently more than 11. We spent hours in that lot, calling husbands, trying all sorts of ideas. That year most of the girls had bought hermit crabs for their kids, and those of us less determined to get home had fun having hermit crab races in the parking lot. But, I digress. I was supposed to be telling you this year's story.

Actually, there are 2 of them, a funny one and a dramatic one. The first one happened after everyone was up from the beach that first day. Some of us had already taken our showers and were relaxing and talking in the living room area. Laura Atkins took a mostly frozen Diet Pepsi out of the fridge and attempted to carefully open it over the sink. However, the pressure exploded out of the bottle, the top shot off, hit the ceiling, and diet Pepsi spewed everywhere. Michelle and I were minding our own business on the couch - a good 12 feet from the kitchen sink - and Pepsi got on us - especially Michelle. I had seen what happened. Michelle, however, had not, and was quite alarmed as she exclaimed, "What was THAT?!?!?!" I'm sure all sorts of horrible possibilities crossed her mind, and she was probably relieved to find out that it was only soda. It took 4 of us to clean up the mess - on the walls, the crown molding, the floor, Michelle, etc... It had even gotten on the ceiling, which was a popcorn ceiling and you can't just wipe off a popcorn ceiling. So that night Laura bought a bottle of some type of cleaner with bleach to spray on the ceiling. She didn't use it until we were ready to leave for home in case it gave the place a strong odor, and she was very careful to make sure she didn't get any of the cleaner in her eyes or on her clothes.

Shelly was the only one tall enough to clean the crown molding!

Super Laura!! Able to clean tall ceilings with a single squirt!

The next event happened that night as we were getting into bed. Our room's balcony faced the highway, and just as we were snuggling down for the night, this increasingly loud thumping noise comes out of nowhere. Kari looks out the window to try and determine the source, but can't tell what she is looking at without her glasses. She said she saw some police cars with their lights flashing and something in the middle of the highway. We finally detemined it was a helicopter that had landed in the middle of the highway! We woke up the others, and all 12 of us were out on our balcony to see what was going on. We knew it meant someone was seriously sick or hurt, so we were alarmed. That alarm only increased when we watched them wheel the stretcher into our building! We were imagining all sorts of things and discussing the possibilities: from a murder/suicide (someone's been watching too much CSI), a drunken brawl (someone else has been watching too much COPS), a heart attack or stroke, a shark attack, or a pool-side accident. After discussing and praying for whoever and whatever it was, the stretcher came out empty, an ambulance arrived and took their stretcher in, and the helicopter left - with no patient. (It was SO cool watching the helicopter slowly ascend and then take off. At one point we could have waved to the pilot if there had been more light.) They finally brought someone out on the stretcher and loaded him up in the ambulance. He looked rather healthy for someone who had just been the victim of a murder/drunken brawl/shark bite/near-drowning pool accident. The ambulance left very carefully, with no lights or sirens. Very odd.... We went to bed relieved that it didn't seem serious, but very confused. The next day, while talking to people in the elevators and on the beach, we found out that the man had been bitten by a poisonous spider, and that the condo building's policy is that anytime someone calls for medical assistance, they automatically send for the helicopter as well as the ambulance.

So, lots of excitement, lots of laughs, lots of friends, lots of jellyfish, and lots of relaxing - not because of the jellyfish, though. It was a great trip! Some of our group soaking up the sun.

Our first night out

Carol, Monica, Stacy, Kim, Shelly

Kim C., Kari, me (not the best pic of me)

Myra, Susan, Laura, Michelle

Ha-a-a-a-llelujah!!!

2008-07-21T08:30:00.003-05:00

This is a post about potty-training. I've tried to keep it clean, but you can only do so much when dealing with this topic. So be fore-warned and read at your own discretion.

David is finally getting potty-trained!!!!!!! I was beginning to get a little worried. I have always adopted the potty-training philosophy of not forcing the issue (no scheduled potty times, no making him sit on the potty until something happened, etc.), but encouraging them to try when they expressed an interest. David has been interested in the concept for a while, but to no avail. He would sit - or stand - at the potty, but nothing ever happened. That is, until Friday!

My beloved flute teacher and mentor, Janis Nichol, always told me that the way she potty-trained her younger son was by telling him to watch his older brother. Sounded good to me, I mean, David is always wanting to try whatever Harris can do, so why should going to the potty be any different? Another friend of mine, Judi Moore, who has 4 boys, said her boys always just eventually got it without forcing the issue. Again, sounded good to me.

So Friday morning, I was getting the boys in the shower. (They are young enough that I can give them a shower at the same time. It saves time and water.) Harris knows he always needs to go potty before getting in the shower, so he takes care of business and gets in. I turn around to look for David and tell him to get in, and he's standing at the potty - assuming the "position". I encouraged him to take his time, and after a couple of minutes.... TINKLE!!!! I was thrilled and did my "happy mommy dance". Harris kept saying, "I'm so proud of you, David!" David just grinned from ear to ear and got in the shower as if he always went potty.

The best part, is that it wasn't a one-time deal. He has been consistently going to the potty ever since. He isn't staying dry, yet, but he is well on his way. We also have to see how he handles the other aspect of potty-training. And because he has been watching Harris for so long, he knows all the potty rules - wiping, flushing, pulling up his pants, and washing his hands. In fact, he's in there going potty right now - by himself!!

2 down, 1 to go! And they say girls are easy to potty-train!

Happy Birthday, Meredith!

2008-07-13T23:09:00.003-05:00

Okay, so technically your birthday was yesterday, but I ran out of time yesterday, and since I was at your party/game night until midnight last night, I couldn't do it then. So, better late than never.

Meredith and I have been friends since our early high school years. Neither of us can really remember when it started, because it was so gradual and natural. I think it was 10th grade, in Mr. B's homeroom. I am not a morning person, but Mer always made me laugh and start my day out with a smile on my face. She was just that kind of person, she still is.

Our friendship grew, and I have wonderful memories of all the crazy stuff we did in high school. Hanging out at the mall (is that man on the roof following us?), driving around with our other friend (another Jennifer) - and Mer driving "illegally", going to Prom- (is there anything in my braces?). I still laugh over some of those memories.

However, not all of my memories from that time in my life are happy ones. My parents separated and eventually divorced between my junior and senior years. My senior year was incredibly difficult emotionally because of that. But Meredith was one of 2 people that God used to make an oasis for me in their friendship. She listened when I needed to talk. She rarely said much during my rants, but the next day she would hand me a letter she had written, filled with Scripture and encouragement. I still have some of those letters and read them from time to time. You don't know how much those meant to me, Mer. **tear**

Shortly after we graduated from high school, our paths separated for a while. I got married (she was in the wedding of course) and she went off exploring what it meant to be an adult and growing closer to God. We still kept in touch and would meet up for dinner or lunch from time to time. It amazed me, though, that no matter how long it had been or how different our lives were, God was always teaching us basically the same things, and it usually felt like no time had passed since we had seen each other. Meredith also always sent me birthday cards and anniversary cards, every year. Once our friend, the other Jennifer, got married several years ago, and we were both in her wedding, it seems God started slowly bringing our paths back together. We communicated a lot more via email and seeing each other more.

Now, she lives about 15 minutes away, and we meet twice a week to work out. We also get together with other friends and family once a month for a game night. I mentioned in my post about my brother that he is the funniest person I know. Well, Mer is the funnest person I know. She makes everything funner (yes, that's a word because I say it is.) just by being there and being herself. She wants everyone around her to have fun and makes sure no one is left out in her quiet, unassuming way. Her relationship with God amazes me and challenges me, and her unique perspective makes me see things in a way I never thought of, sometimes making an "old" concept new and amazing. I not only enjoy Meredith's friendship, but I also really respect her.

Happy birthday - a day late - my friend. I pray that God would pour out His blessings on your life and that He would grant you the desires of your heart because you obviously delight yourself in Him. I love you, girl!

Odd Socks

2008-07-13T22:44:00.006-05:00

We all know that dryers eat socks. But what are the odds of my dryer eating the same type of sock out of 2 different pairs?! Let me explain....

A few months ago, I bought Amy Beth a pack of 0-6 mos.-size socks. There were various colors: white, blue, multi, etc. There was one pair that I particularly liked. They were white with a silky yellow flower sewn on the side of each sock. Because these socks were so tiny, I knew they would easily get eaten or otherwise lost in the wash, so I took them out of the package, checked to make sure each pair had 2 socks in them, and washed them by themselves. After they were washed, I then made sure to account for each sock as I transferred them from washer to dryer - all were present and accounted for. At this point I mistakenly assume I've covered my bases - that if they are still together at this point, they are bound to stay together ever after. Wrong!

I take the clean and now dry socks upstairs (I even used a basket so that I wouldn't accidentally drop any) and start to fold them to put in her drawer. I get to the pair with the yellow flower on the side - and one of them is missing!!!! How did that happen?? I look everywhere between where I took them out of the package, to the washer, the dryer, and the couch I was folding them on - nothing. However, a few days later, it turned up - in another load of laundry! The only thing I can figure is the dryer didn't like the taste of that sock and regurgitated it with the next load of laundry.

So then the other day, I buy Amy Beth some new socks - the 6-18 mos. size (which doesn't seem possible that I am already buying socks that big. I mean, I just gave birth to her last week, didn't I?) but it was basically the same kind of socks, because I liked them so much. It had another pair of white socks with the yellow applique, except it was a yellow bow instead of a flower. I went through the same precautions as last time - and still ended up missing a sock - from the SAME pair as last time!!! I mean, what are the odds people?!?!?!?

Perhaps I should go throw another load in the dryer and see if this sock gets regurgitated, too.

Happy Birthday Darrell!

2008-07-10T12:59:00.013-05:00

Today is my brother, Darrell's, 29th birthday! I have two brothers, Darrell and Rusty, both younger than me. Darrell is the middle child of our family. Growing up I had a love/hate relationship with both of my brothers - meaning sometimes I loved them and sometimes I didn't. (I really never hated them - that's much too strong of a word.) But no matter how irritated I would get with them, if anyone messed with them, or if they needed me for anything, I would be there in a second.

Darrell's life is a testament to the amazing, transforming work of God's grace. In his late teens, he got involved in alcohol and drugs. At that time, our paths didn't cross very often, and when they did, it was awkward at best. I always prayed for God to bring him out of that lifestyle, but I also always prayed that God would protect him. Darrell had a couple of run-ins with law enforcement (that's part of the reason our relationship was so strained - I was married to a police officer!) and he had a gun pulled on him a couple of times by dealers or buyers who didn't like what he had to offer. But he was never jailed and he was never harmed.

Until one night he was arrested for stealing a car for a joy-ride. He was high on something at the time and later told me, "I felt invincible and invisible. Nobody could see me, and if they did, they wouldn't stop me." Well, reality hit him when he was arrested that night for grand theft auto - a felony. I can't remember if he called and told me or if my mom told me. (the weird thing is that I had had a dream not too long before that about Darrell stealing a car and getting arrested for it.) I told mom I wanted to be with her at his court date. There were 2 or 3 court dates, but in the end, he only had to pay a fine, do some community service, and be on probation for a couple of years. He had been so cooperative with the police after his arrest, that the arresting officer actually testified in court to ask for leniency for Darrell! The other reason he was able to get off so light was because it was his first offense. Well, I praised God for that and thought this was the wake-up call he needed. However, Darrell later told me that, "At that point my eyes were opened, but I was still headed down the same path."

Finally, on New Year's Eve 1999, I was at church for a candlelight service when Darrell came to my mind so strongly. I started praying my usual prayer for him - save him, but don't hurt him - when God clearly spoke to me and said, "If you want Me to save him, you're going to have to stop asking for his protection. Allow me to do what needs to be done to get his attention." Well, that scared me a lot because I knew what Darrell "deserved". But I also knew that God had spoken to me, and that He wouldn't allow unnecessary harm to come to him. So I prayed and said, "Lord, right now I am giving you permission to do whatever it takes to get Darrell's attention and to turn his life around. Just please don't take his life - but anything short of that that You need to do, please do." (Yes, I am aware that God doesn't need my permission for anything, but sometimes He gives us exactly what we ask for - in my case, Darrell's protection.)

So, the service ended and a couple of friends and I picked up some pizza and took it to my house to play games, hang out, and bring in the new year. Just at the stroke of midnight, my phone rang. It was one of Darrell's friends calling to tell me he had been arrested again - this time for a failure to appear warrant. Unlike last time, though, when the combination of friends and parents were able to bail him out immediately, there was no one around. His friends were too drunk to care. Both of our parents were out of town, and besides that the banks were closed. Darrell ended up spending 4-5 days in a Hueytown jail because of a misdemeanor. Where before he had committed a felony and walked away. God was letting Darrell know right away that this was His wake-up call. Darrell also had a bad head cold at the time, which made his situation that much more miserable. He called me later that night (I was up because I couldn't sleep once I heard he was in jail), and I had never heard him so broken and miserable. On Sunday we went to see him, which was a horrible thing, to see my brother behind bars. On Tuesday, he was finally released on bail with a scheduled court date to pay off the fines. Darrell came out of that cell a changed person! He immediately quit the drugs, shortly thereafter quit smoking, started going to church (at a place that used to be called the Crossroads Community Church but now is the Downtown Church), and got a job. He gave his life completely over to God! As he describes it, "After the first arrest, my eyes were open but I was still headed the same direction. After the second arrest, God picked me up and made me do a 180." Hallelujah!

Today, 8 years later, Darrell is a sold out God-follower. He has been instrumental in bringing some of his friends from that former lifestyle to Christ by inviting them to church and being a consistent testimony of God's amazing grace. The last 8 years have not been easy on him. He's been through the ordeal of our dad's heart attack and later his stroke, and a couple of years ago he suffered one of the biggest heartaches of his life. But through all of it, he never doubted God's faithfulness and kept his eyes on Him during the long and torturous storm. God brought him through that, too. Today he is a hard-working man with a God-given passion for working with young teenagers, a beloved uncle to my kids, a caring son to his parents - especially to our dad who is now disabled, and he is a brother whom I admire and respect. He's also the funniest person I know. And he is getting married in September to a wonderful, sweet, and godly girl. Only God could have done such a marvelous transformation. Glory to God!!

Darrell, I'm so proud of you. You have been so faithful in your walk with God and trusting Him always. You have been a help to me and an encouragement to me so many times. I am thrilled for you to be marrying such an awesome girl as Cindy, and I pray God will bless the both of you as you seek Him together. Happy Birthday, little brother. I love you!

Lessons Learned at Alabama Adventure

2008-07-08T22:41:00.007-05:00

The boys and I went to Alabama Adventure yesterday with my brother, Darrell, and our mom. It was the first time for all of us except Darrell, who has a season pass and goes up there every chance he gets. We had so much fun! And as with any good experience, I learned a few things that I thought I would pass on to my readers - if I have any.

Lesson 1:
Don't wait until the night before to buy a bathing suit - especially if it is after the 4th of July. I went to a couple of different stores and found a few things (nothing I was wanting), but in both stores, the swimsuit section looked like it had been mobbed by a bunch of crazy women - swimsuit pieces were flung everywhere, with no rhyme or reason as to size, style, or brand. I did manage to find a Land's End swim-mini (Sears carries Land End swim pieces!!) that would go over my old swim tank, which worked for me since I was mainly looking for something to cover my upper thighs. I didn't think people would enjoy my post-partum flab and stretch marks. However, if you happen to be a lady who wears a plus-size swim-suit, you're in luck. There are lots of swimsuits left in your sizes, and most of them are marked way down after the 4th!

Lesson 2:
Go ahead and buy your kids some Crocs - or some knock-off brand. I have resisted buying any for my boys because 1) I hate going with "trendy" things. I don't judge others for doing it, but something in me just chafes at the thought of getting something just because everyone else is; and 2) I have heard reports (aka horror stories) of bizarre and painful injuries as the result of wearing Croc-style shoes. I will spare you the details.
But anyway, I knew the boys would need something water-friendly they could wear and that would be easy to get on and off, and those shoes fit that description. What took me by surprise, though, was how excited they were to get their very own Crocs! (They knew what kind of shoes they were as soon as they saw them.) How scary to find out how much their peers already influence their opinions of things!

Lesson 3:
Break your own Croc-like shoes in before you wear them to AL Adventure. Along with the swim suit, I bought my own water-friendly shoes the night before. I found some feminine-looking shoes made by Sketchers. They were very light and comfortable, and they strapped onto my foot so there was no danger of slipping out of them and thereby causing danger to myself. However, since they were not broken in, they rubbed on my heels all day, and I now have a lovely blister on the back of one of my feet.

Lesson 4:
Go on a Tuesday. There was hardly anyone at the park! It was awesome! The Splash Beach side was a little crowded, but we still didn't wait for more than 3 minutes for any of the slides. The Magic City USA side was all but deserted! We just walked right up to any ride we wanted, and the operators for the kiddie rides let them go twice in a row on several of them.

Lesson 5:
If your kids, like mine, don't have a lot of opportunities to be around water, give them time to acclimate themselves to all the splashing. I think my boys were a bit overwhelmed just be the sheer volume of water around us. It didn't help that the first thing Darrell took us to was the giant bucket that dumps a ton of water out on everyone every couple of minutes. They were a little intimidated by it, I think. However, they soon warmed up to everything and wanted to do a little bit of everything. David was the first one to get the nerve to go down the water slide with me, but once Harris saw how much fun it was, he decided to try it. Whoo-hoo!! We are seriously considering getting a season pass to Splash Beach for next year!

Lesson 6:
Be prepared to stay the whole time. We went right after lunch time, and I fully expected that we would be worn out and ready to leave by dinner time @ 5pm. We had so much fun, though, that before I knew it the water park was closing - and their closing time is at 7pm! Even then, when we told the boys we had to leave, David begged us to stay a little longer. And all the way home, he kept saying, "I wanted to stay there. I didn't want to leave already."

Lesson 7:
Keep your kids safe at all costs - which I did, and have the injuries to prove it. On the kiddie slide at Castaway Island, the small kids can ride in your lap. At the bottom of the slide, the water is a little deep, and it splashes up over your head as you slide into it. I observed some adults would lift their child up as they hit that part in order to keep their head above the water, so I gave it a try with David. I think I lifted him too soon or something, because when I lifted him, I lost my balance (which is hard to do when you're already sitting) and slid sideways. I caught myself on my elbow. Today it's a lovely shade of purple and bending it makes my whole arm hurt - but David's head did not go under the water. Success! I sustained a couple of other injuries, but I won't bore you with them. Today I feel like I got beat up by somebody, though.

Lesson 8:
Unless you have a water-proof camera, either leave it at home, or keep it in the locker. I brought my digital camera with me, thinking I would take some great pics for this post. We quickly discovered that it was too much of a hassle to keep up with and put it up in the locker. That's why I don't have any pictures with this post. Sorry.

Lesson 9:
If at all possible, keep the day after your trip as clear as possible. The kids will need a do-nothing day to just rest, as will you. And if you're as clumsy as I am, you'll need that day to take it slow and recover from all the bumps and bruises.

Lesson 10:
If you're a red-head, just prepare to burn. There's just no way around it. Of course, take all the usual precautions: lather on sunblock repeatedly (SPF 100 if you can find it), wear your hat, and a shirt when you're not actually in the water. Yet, for all your precautions, you will come back burned somewhere; either from a spot that didn't quite get covered with sun-block enough, or just because you're a red-head and that's what red-heads do when they've been in the sun all day.

Bottom line is - we had fun. Lots of fun. I can't wait to go back.

Socks and a Playhouse

2008-07-02T22:06:00.005-05:00

It's neat how God provides for His children when we let Him. I have been needing some new socks for quite a while. Almost every pair of my plain white socks had a hole in them. (When I was little, socks with holes in them were a treasured thing. I called them "Grandpa socks" because whenever my beloved grandpa took off his cowboy boots, he would have a hole in each sock. "So his toes could breath" he said.) Even Preston kept telling me to go buy some socks. But there were always more important things for us to spend our money on, and we are trying to be better stewards of our money by not spending it on things we don't actually need right this minute. Sure, my socks were a bit holey, but they were still basically doing their job. So, I didn't think that much about it.

Meanwhile, I am meeting a friend of mine twice a week to work out. We are working out to "Dance Praise", which is so much fun. I've never had so much fun exercising in my life! (Of course, doing anything with Meredith makes it more fun. It's just the kind of person she is.) In order to use the mats that we "dance" on, we have to be in our sock feet. We've been doing this for about 3-4 weeks now. Last Thursday, when I got to her house, she said, "I have a surprise for you!" And handed me a pack of brand new socks! I laughed so hard! No one has ever gifted me socks before! She said she saw them and just thought of me. (more likely she noticed my holey socks and felt sorry for me. Ha ha.)

So God provided socks for me. And not just any socks, but the best, comfiest socks I have ever owned! They are Hanes Sport socks with arch support. I now come home and put them on instead of my slippers. You may be thinking, "Why would God care about your socks?" My answer is because He knows the number of hairs on my head, and yours, and He cares about every detail of our lives. He knew that it would increase my faith. It was like He was saying, "See, Jennifer? If I care enough to provide you with something as small as new socks - in a way that you didn't even consider- how much more will I provide for the things you and your family really need?"

As if that wasn't enough, God also provided a fun thing for the boys. We have a couple of friends who have those big, plastic, play houses in their yards, and whenever we visit any of those friends, the boys spend most of their time in the playhouse. That took me by surprise because I thought it would be too girly to interest them. Of course, they don't sit in them and have a tea party or anything, but instead play typical boy stuff (pretend it's the fire or police station, act like there's a big storm coming and shake the house by banging on the walls, Harris enjoys climbing on the roof and pretending he's a giant, etc). So for a while now, I have been on the lookout for a used playhouse for our back yard. They have had several at Kid's Market, but they have always been a bit outside my price range. Well, a friend of mine moved last week, and they decided to sell their playhouse instead of trying to move it. She was asking a very good price for it, so I discussed it with Preston and we decided to buy it. However, the next time I see her, she tells me to just come get it and not worry about the money. I asked what she meant by that, just to make sure I wasn't misunderstanding what she was saying, and she said she felt like she was supposed to give it to us!

So, God provided me with something I sort of needed but wasn't too concerned about, and something fun for my kids all within the same week! Isn't He good? God is a loving Father who gives good gifts to His children - the best gift of course was the gift of salvation through His Son's death on the Cross. Praise the Lord!

Amy Beth Weed

2008-06-30T12:42:00.012-05:00

I'm not being very consistent at blogging. I'm sorry about that. It's not for lack of material - just lack of time.

Now it's time to talk about my baby daughter, Amy Beth. A couple of years ago, Harris informed me that he wanted a baby sister. I told him he needed to pray and ask God to give him one then. Personally, I had mixed feelings. Part of me loved the idea of having another baby, especially if it was a girl this time, and part of me thought my hands were full enough with two energetic boys.

So, he started praying. He remembered to pray almost every night for a baby sister. I asked him if he would be okay with a baby brother. He said he would be okay with that, but he really wanted a baby sister since he already had a brother. Harris prayed for probably a year when we finally found out that there was a baby on the way! When we told Harris, he was adamant that it was going to be a girl. The ultrasound at 19 wks. confirmed that Harris had gotten his prayer answered - he was getting a baby sister!

We had some options when it came to baby names. I knew I wanted my mom's name, Amy, to be a part of it somehow, and Preston has always liked the name, Beth. However, we kept thinking of Beth as just a short form of Bethany or Elizabeth, and not as a name in and of itself. So, we tried Amy Elizabeth, Bethany June (June was Preston's mother's name), and others. For one reason or another, none of them seemed to fit, and Harris didn't like any of them. Then, I thought of using Beth on its own, and came up with Amy Beth - and calling her by both names. It was so different from what we had been considering, that I prayed about it before asking Preston or anybody else what they thought about it. God had made it so clear what we were to name Harris and David, so I trusted that He would do the same for this baby. A few days later, I had lunch with a friend and she told me about a dream she had had 3 times in the past week. In her dream, I kept referring to the baby as "Amy Beth"!!! There was my confirmation! The really amazing part is that all of this dream and conversation happened before we had even found out that we were having a girl!

Amy Beth was born in January this year. Her one minute and 5 minute APGAR scores were both 9, and it would have been a 10 except that the nurse said they never give 10s for some reason. I have a memory of her birth that I will cherish forever. She had just been born and was screaming at the top of her lungs. They did a preliminary cleaning up and wrapped her in a blanket, and brought her around the drape so I could see her. (I had a C-section so I everything was draped with sterile drapes and my arms were secured to the table, so I couldn't touch her.) I kissed her soft little cheek and then put my cheek against hers, and she immediately stopped screaming! When they took her away to finish cleaning her, she started screaming again. Isn't that amazing?! And to this day if she is upset and I put her cheek to cheek with me, she calms down almost immediately. She has been such a good, sweet baby from day 1. She's been a good eater and sleeper for the most part. She loves her brothers, and they adore her. Whenever they come into her view, her whole face lights up and she starts kicking and waving her fists at them. Because she is such a laid back baby, it's hard to get her to really laugh, but the boys can do it easily. She finds their antics most amusing.Now that Amy Beth is 5 mos. old, she is sleeping through the night most of the time - and really has been doing that for a couple of months now. (Hallelujah!) She is rolling from her back to her stomach, and pushes up on her hands. When she is in her bouncy seat or bath tub, she tries to do her "sit-ups", so it won't be long probably before she is sitting. She makes all sorts of noises, and entertains herself with them when there's no one else around to entertain her. On more than one occasion, the boys have been outside playing while I'm trying to get something done in the house. Amy Beth will be in her bouncy seat or her play mat. If I'm not in the room with her for a couple of minutes, she'll start making her noises. (I sometimes stay out of the room on purpose just so she'll start talking.) After she's gotten a good start on her babbling, I'll peek in at her and she'll be grinning from ear to ear - and usually staring at her hands or a foot that she has managed to grab. It is too cute!

I am a bit musical. I love to sing, and I play the flute. So I have always secretly hoped at least one of my children would be musical. Harris likes to listen to music, but so far doesn't have the least bit of interest in participating in music in any way. David goes around singing all the time, to his own made-up songs. But Amy Beth already seems to appreciate music on a different level from that. Whenever I sing to her, she stares at me transfixed. Whenever music is playing, she strains her head to see where it is coming from. And she sings...

Amy Beth has one of those Fisher Price Ocean Wonders Aquarium on the side of her crib. When the music is playing and she is either going to sleep or waking up, she'll make these long, soft, ahhhhs in different pitches - I swear she is singing to the music!!

So there is the story of my three amazing gifts from God. We are blessed indeed!

David Matthew Weed

2008-06-10T14:47:00.013-05:00

Sorry I'm just now getting back to this. Lately, by the time I get a chance to sit down and blog, my brain is too tired to construct a cohesive sentence, much less a story.

So David is one of our surprise babies, meaning we were not trying to get pregnant, but we were not being very diligent in preventing a pregnancy either. After celebrating Harris' first Christmas and his first birthday, I remember thinking I was more exhausted than I could imagine. I knew I had been busy, but it still didn't explain this kind of exhaustion! It took a few days before it even occurred to me that I might be pregnant. This time I took a home pregnancy test, and that pink line popped up immediately. I was delighted, but in shock at the same time. After all, this meant I was going to have 2 children less than 2 years apart and at the time that sounded a little overwhelming. But among the lessons I learned trying to get pregnant the first time was that God's timing was perfect, especially when it comes to babies.

Unlike with Harris, I had no clear "feeling" about whether this one would be a boy or a girl. I was hoping for a girl since I already had a boy, and I have to confess that I was a tad disappointed when we found out he was a boy. We knew that if we did have another boy, his first name would be David, but we had the hardest time trying to decide on a middle name. Finally, I prayed and said, "God, Your Word says that our names are written in Your book before the foundation of the world, so You know what David's name is supposed to be. Would You please let me know what to name him?" A few nights after praying that, I had a dream where everyone kept coming up to me and telling me to name my baby Matthew. I would tell them, "that's a good name, but we've already decided to name him David." Finally someone came up and suggested that we use Matthew for the middle name. I thought, "David Matthew"...I like it, even though it might make some people think of the Dave Matthews Band." Then 2 thoughts immediately came to me in the dream, "This is the answer to your prayer" and "Look up the meaning of the name Matthew". The next day I hit the ground running and didn't think about that dream again until my eyes fell on the Baby Name book on the end table. I thought, "It seems like there was a name I was going to look up the meaning of." Immediately, the whole dream came flooding back. I looked up the name and found out that Matthew meant "a gift from God" and I already knew that David meant "beloved". It fit this baby to a T, he was already beloved, and he was definitely a surprise gift - he was even given to us around Christmas time! So David Matthew it was.

The first 3 months of his life were very difficult. He had really bad acid reflux so that he was always spitting up, always fussing, and never slept for more than 2 hours at a time - EVER! We tried everything the pediatrician suggested, to no avail. He was just miserable. Yet during that time, he and I bonded so strongly. Probably because the only way he would sleep most of the time was lying on my chest, while I was propped up in a recliner. My mom finally convinced me to take him to our chiropractor and see if an adjustment would help him. The idea of taking my 3 mo. old to get an adjustment seemed ludicrous, but I was desperate enough at that point to try anything. The chiropractor, Dr. Chris Harrison, said David had a sudal (sp?) hernia, meaning his stomach was pressed against his diaphragm, which kept the stomach from being able to empty properly. He gently pushed and massaged the area. That night, David slept for 6 straight hours!! I took him back for a second adjustment a week or so later, and after that David was a different baby. He went from being a very fussy baby who never slept to being the happiest baby I ever saw and sleeping like a log. Hallelujah!!

David is now 3 years old. He asked Jesus into his life this past Easter. He is a happy, funny boy who loves to laugh and to make other people laugh. Where Harris is our cautious, studious, make-sure-I-can-do-it-right-before-I'm-willing-to-try child, David is our adventurous, learn by doing, jump-in-with-both-feet child. He is a natural problem solver. If he can't reach something, he will figure out a way to get to it. He is also amazing with puzzles. He was doing small jigsaw puzzles by the time he was 2, and he can now do 100-piece puzzles all by himself. David loves to play with his big brother or friends, but he also knows how to entertain himself when necessary. David loves Lightning McQueen from the movie "Cars" and Thomas the Tank Engine. He is also amazing at imitating sounds - from animal noises, to machines, to sirens, to voices. (Yes, that particular talent can be somewhat unnerving at times.)

David is a blanky baby. He loves his blanky!

David is extremely generous to his friends and loved ones. He is always insisting on you trying a bite of whatever he's eating and gets very excited when he has 2 of something so that he can give one to somebody else. I don't know that I have ever heard him tell someone no when they have asked to play with something of his, but I could be forgetting something. However, he does have a temper (I wonder where he gets that from...) and has been known to hit or bite. Praise the Lord, he seems to be outgrowing that stage, though.

Overall, David is a delightful little boy who brings a lot of love and laughter into our world. He is proof that our Heavenly Father delights in giving good gifts to His chidren.

1. David crashed while enjoying 2 of his favorite things: Thomas the Train and "Cars"

2. I call this his "Calvin and Hobbes" impersonation because it reminds of one of their strips that says, "Don't you just hate it when your boogers freeze?"

Our Firstborn - Preston Harris Weed, IV

2008-06-04T14:55:00.004-05:00

So, one month after my "Isaac Moment", I found out I was pregnant! I was ecstatic. I also felt very strongly from the beginning of the pregnancy that the baby would be a boy. Now, before we were even married, I knew Preston wanted to carry on the tradition of naming our firstborn son the same name that he, his dad, and his grandfather had - Preston Harris Weed - but our son would be the Fourth, so Preston Harris Weed, IV and we had decided early on that he would go by Harris. However, after having identified so much with Hannah and her baby son, Samuel, I really wanted to name our son, Samuel. I started talking to Preston about it (mind you, this was still very early in the pregnancy and I didn't even have proof yet that we were having a boy). However, Preston was resolute, we would follow the tradition and not waver from it at all (I had suggested Preston Samuel). I was a little upset because I felt like God wanted me to name him Samuel, but I also knew I needed to submit to my husband's authority. So I prayed about it. God led me to look up the meanings of the name's "Samuel" and "Preston". Samuel means "asked of God" and Preston means "priest's estate". Do you see it?! The meaning of Samuel described our son, because we definitely asked God for him, and the meaning of Preston is what Samuel was!!! Samuel was given to the Lord and raised in the temple by the priest, he was the priest's estate!! How cool of God to do that for me and to lead me to discover it!

So Preston Harris Weed, IV was born in December of 2002. (note to future parents: don't ever say you don't ever want a child to be born at "such and such" time of year, because God has a sense of humor and will allow your first born to be born at that time. not that it matters now. we wouldn't have changed it for the world.) He was your average baby, not to difficult and not super easy, either. I was a nervous wreck about the reality of being a mom, though. But we made it through those early days and loved our little blessing will all our hearts.

Okay, here is where I start bragging a little. Harris loves to learn, and learns quickly. He always has. He also has amazing control over his emotions - when he chooses to use self-control. When he was just two years old, my mom accidentally knocked a small pillow off of a shelf in a department store and it hit Harris in the face. She could tell it startled him and thought for sure he would start to cry. His eyes welled up with tears, and his bottom lip went out, but he just looked at her and sucked his breath in like he was trying to keep from crying. Before he was 20 months old, Harris knew his ABC's by memory and recognized their shapes, and he could count to 10! By the time he was 3, he knew all the sounds the letters made. By 4 years old, he could count to 100 and sound out small words. Now that he is 5, he can read any of the "I Can Read" or "Easy Reader" books and he can read words off of signs, boxes, bottles, just about anything. If he can't sound out a word, he'll ask what it is and from that one time, he'll know it the next time he reads it. He will start Kindergarten at my alma mater, Shades Mountain Christian School, in August.

Harris prays at his 2 year-old birthday party.

Harris also knows the Lord as His personal Savior and Lord. I prayed all throughout my preganacy that he would come to know Jesus personally at the youngest possible age. Right before he turned 3, there were lots of programs and talk in general about the Christmas story, and one night we watched a local station, which aired a church's musical that told the whole story of Jesus's life on earth, from birth to ascension. Harris watched the entire thing with me and asked questions all throughout it. "Why is that baby in the hay?" Why is that man hanging on the cross?" Why are all those people shouting at Him?" How did He get out of that hole?" I was praying the whole time that God would give me the ability to explain it in such a way that his little mind would understand and that God would use it to convict him of his need for Jesus. After that program, he kept asking questions, and those questions eventually became, "Do I have sins in my heart?" "Does Jesus live in my heart?" "How can I get Him to?" I explained what sin was and why everyone has sin in their heart, and I explained how we pray to ask Jesus to come into our lives and wash away our sins. Finally, 2 days after he turned 3 years old, at bed time he prayed with me and accepted Jesus as His Savior! Praise the Lord!!

Harris and Amy Beth // Harris and David - Harris, 2; David - 3 mos.

Harris became a big brother when he was just 2o months old, and he is a great one most of the time. They love each other so much and play so well together. In the winter of 2006, he started telling me he wanted a baby sister. I told him he would need to pray and ask God for one. (I wanted another baby very much, but Preston wasn't so sure about it.) He prayed almost every night for a baby sister (not a brother, because he already had one of those). One day he told my mom, "I'm going to have a baby sister". Mom asked him when and he said, "I don't know, but she's coming." So, in May of 2007, we found out we were pregnant again. When we told Harris, he said, "My sister is coming!" We told him it could very well be a boy, but he was insistent that it was a girl. Sure enough, at the appointed time, the ultrasound confirmed what Harris seemed to have known all along, he was getting a sister! Since she has been born, he has been the sweetest, most loving big brother we could ask for. He is so careful with her, and is such a good helper with her. And she loves him, too. Whenever, he comes into her view, she gets a big grin on her face and starts kicking and waving her arms.

Harris is by no means a perfect child, but he is a blessing to us, and we are so thankful God entrusted him to us.

Harris' 4th birthday party! // Being silly is one of his favorite pasttimes!

My Children - The Beginning of the Story

2008-06-02T13:50:00.007-05:00

I've decided to exercise the "mother's prerogative" and use the next few blogs to tell you all about my children. I must warn you, I am going to brag at least a little. I try really hard not to be one of "those" moms. You know, the ones you want to run from when you see them coming because you already know they're just coming to brag on their kids; the ones who use every conversation as an excuse to interject something about their wonderful children (and it usually doesn't have that much to do with the conversation). Fortunately, I don't know very many of said mothers, and I completely understand their desire to talk about their children. Every child is a blessing and a gift from God. If I do brag, please know that I do not take credit for how wonderful my kids are. I give all the credit and glory to God because they are "fearfully and wonderfully made".

I will, of course, start at the beginning. Preston and I decided to wait 3 years after getting married before we would start having children. Most of my friends implemented similar plans and met with success rather quickly, so I just assumed we would follow suit. Well, God had other plans. Fast forward 2 more years and a lot of disappointment and heartache. Every time I heard a friend tell they were expecting (one with a "honeymoon baby") it was all I could do to keep from bursting into tears. Some friends noticed the moist eyes and thought they were tears of happiness for them. To those friends, I confess, they were really selfish tears because I wanted what you had. Every month I was tormented with all sorts of thoughts, "Is there something wrong with me?" "Does God not trust me with a child?" "Doesn't anybody understand how badly this hurts?" "Do they even care?" I was raw and depressed. Virtually all of my married friends had babies at this point, and we were the only childless couple in our Sunday School class, so I started avoiding all of them. It was just too painful to be around them and their beautiful babies. (wow, this is really bringing that pain back like it was yesterday.) Then there were the well-meaning, but still hurtful, comments like, "Aren't you and Preston ever going to start having kids?" "You do know where babies come from, don't you?" or the worst one, "You just won't understand until you have kids of your own someday." (another confession, I wanted to slap people for that one.)

In the midst of this pain, I am glad to say that I was drawing near to God and not pushing Him away - only by His grace and not because I am that smart or good. My relationship with Him was becoming so much richer and deeper. I knew He understood. I knew that even though I didn't like it, He was in control and it was for my good that I wasn't getting pregnant. He drew me to Himself and let me cry on His shoulder. He assured me of His plans for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, to give me a future and a hope. (Jer. 29:11) Now, I did have my moments of anger and down-right tantrums with Him for not giving me what I wanted when I wanted it, but like the perfect loving Father that He is, He was always ready to forgive me and let me crawl back up into His lap, soothing away my hurt and anger the way a mother soothes her child.

One night, shortly after I had discovered I was once again not pregnant, I was in the bathroom getting ready for bed and talking to God. (For some reason, I have some of my best conversations with God in the bathroom. I guess because there isn't much to distract me from listening to Him in there.) I was thanking Him for the relationship I had with Him and rejoicing in His goodness to me. I was telling Him how much I loved Him, more than anything, and I didn't want anything to keep me from growing even closer to Him. Immediately, I "heard" this question, "Do you desire a growing relationship with Me more than you desire to have children? Are you willing to sacrifice that desire in order to pursue a relationship with Me?" (I remember that so clearly. I remember where exactly I was standing and how I was standing. I now refer to it as my "Isaac Moment") I knew the "Sunday School" answer was "Yes, of course." But I also knew that that wasn't my heart's answer. I fell on my knees, sobbing, wrestling with this call to sacrifice my desire to be a mom for the greater good of following God without distraction. Praise God, it didn't take very long before I was able to lay it on the altar and walk away! Hallelujah! What peace and joy flooded my soul - peace that I had not had in months!

Meanwhile, I had found I Samuel 1 & 2 - the story of Hannah, who also desperately longed for a child. God blessed her with a son, Samuel, whom she dedicated to the Lord. One day, in the Bible study group I go to on Wednesdays, they asked for someone to sing a new song from Scripture. God impressed upon me to "sing" Hannah's song from I Samuel 2:1-10. The very next week, I discovered God had heard the cry of my heart, and rewarded my sacrifice with the desire of my heart because I chose to delight in Him. I WAS PREGNANT!!!!! HALLELUJAH!!! I didn't want to take a chance with a home pregnancy test, so I went to my OB/GYN's office and let them do a pregnancy test. When it was positive, I was so happy I was laughing and crying all at the same time. I'm sure they thought I was crazy.

Now I know there are others whose story is a lot harder than mine. Perhaps you've suffered a miscarriage, or you've gone through the stress and cost and pain of fertility treatments only to find that nothing is working. My heart goes out to you and I pray for you right now. "Dear Heavenly Father, be with the lady who is reading this right now with tears in her eyes. Minister Your perfect peace and comfort to her right now. I pray that you would heal her emotions and soothe her hurt, anger, and frustration. Ease the heartache. Father, I ask You, in the name of Jesus Christ, to hear the cry of the barren one and bless her with the desire of her heart. Whether it's by opening her womb and creating life within her, or whether it is through the miracle of adoption, bless her with a baby. And I ask that you would do it soon. She has been waiting and hurting for so long, Father. In Your mercy, please don't make her wait anymore. We give you the honor and praise for what You are going to do in each life that reads this. Not because of anything I've written, but because You are God. You can do it and You want to do it. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

If you are one of those ladies, I would love to pray for you by name on a regular basis. If you would like, leave a comment with your name and any details you want to share. Or you can email me at phweed@bellsouth.net and let me know that way. If you are someone like me who has been there, and has a story of God's blessing you with a child, please leave it in the comments section to encourage others.
I will end this post with "Hannah's Song"found in I Sam. 2:1-10

"Then Hannah prayed and said:
My heart rejoices in the Lord; in the Lord my horn is lifted high.
My mouth boasts over my enemies, for I delight in Your deliverance.

There is no one holy like the Lord, there is no one besides You.
There is no Rock like our God.

Do not keep talking so proudly or let your mouth speak such arrogance,
for the Lord is a God who knows, and by Him deeds are weighed.

The bows of the warriors are broken, but those who stumbled are armed with strength.
Those who were full hire themselves out for food, but those who were hungry hunger no more.

She who was barren has borne seven children,
but she who has had many sons pines away.

The Lord brings death and makes alive; He brings down to the grave and raises up.
The Lord sends poverty and wealth; He humbles and exalts.

He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap;
He seats them with princes and has them inherit a throne of honor.
For the foundations of the earth are the Lord's;
upon them He has set the world.

He will guard the feet of His saints, but the wicked will be silenced in darkness.
It is not by strength that one prevails;

Those who oppose the the Lord will be shattered.
He will thunder against them from heaven;
the Lord will judge the ends of the earth.
He will give strength to His king and exalt the horn of His anointed."

A Week of Family and Friends

2008-05-30T20:26:00.005-05:00

I love spending time with my family and close friends, whether it's just hanging out, working out together, or celebrating life's special moments together. This week was a great week, because I was able to do a little of all of that.

First was Memorial Day. Last Memorial Day we had our whole Sunday School class over plus some other friends for a cookout at our house. We ended up with over 50 people - about half adults and half kids - in our back yard. Every one had a great time, but I ran myself ragged that day. (It didn't help that I was in the early weeks of my last pregnancy and no one knew about it yet.) This year, we decided on just inviting family and one of my best friends, so we had Preston's dad, one of my brothers and his finace, and Meredith Quintana. We cooked hamburgers and hotdogs and just had a fun, simple get-together. Once the kids went to bed, we played a board game called Imaginiff. It was so much fun! I laughed so hard that I couldn't catch my breath several times throughout that game, and we learned a lot about each other. Take, for instance, my crazy brother, Darrell. During the course of the game we learn that one of his favorite secular songs is the MASH theme song, and his other favorite one is the BeeGees' "Stayin' Alive". Someone points out that the real title of the MASH theme song is "Suicide is Painless". The total extremes of these two songs strikes us as hilarious, because it fits the extreme kind of person Darrell is to a "T". As a result of that night, we are planning a monthly game night for our little group. I can't wait!

The next night, I was able to hang out with my future sister-in-law, Cindy, and my friends Laura Atkins and Monica Slaughter at Monica's house for a girl's movie night. (I don't mean to imply in any way that Cindy is not a friend. If we had met before she met Darrell, we would have been fast friends anyway, and I am so excited that we are going to be sisters-in-law!) We are currently watching the whole "Anne of Green Gables" movie series. It's been so relaxing and fun. We come in our comfy clothes, and lounge around on Monica's sectional sofa and watch Anne on a huge flat-screen TV while munching on all sort of goodies - because calories don't count on Girls' Movie Night. Cindy and I especially are huge "Anne" fans, and we find ourselves quoting some of the lines along with the movie and laughing at the same parts. I discovered that watching these movies with a fellow "kindred spirit" or two makes the movies so much better!

Then, on Thursday, one of my sons' best friends, Joseph Falgout, graduated from Kindergarten at my old alma mater, Shades Mountain Christian School. I took both of the boys to see him graduate, while my sweet husband stayed at home with the baby. They enjoyed most of the program, and were especially excited to see Joseph up on the stage. (He did a great job with his parts in the program. We were so proud of him!) It was a good experience for Harris, since it will help him know what to expect next year when he graduates Kindergarten. (I must confess here that I grew teary-eyed a time or two during the program, thinking that my first baby will be graduating from Kindergarten this time next year.) After the program was over, we were able to visit with Joseph and his family, as well as other friends that were there that night. I also saw some of my former teachers and enjoyed visiting with them.

Just a couple of weeks ago, I was feeling a little depressed and lonely. Since then, God has been so good to fill my life up with friends and family who love me and with whom I can have fun. I am blessed to have each of you in my life!

More Thoughts on Worship

2008-05-30T20:19:00.002-05:00

I thought I was done with the devotional thoughts about worship, but God keeps giving me other little pieces that I want to share with you. After last week's description of getting into the manifest presence of God (which is a very different thing than the omnipresence of God), the question came to me, "Why then does it seem that some people can get there so easily and quickly, and others it takes a long time - if they are able to get into that intimate place of worship at all?" God immediately put Luke 2:25-38 on my heart. I will only point out a couple of verses from this passage. Luke 2:25, 27 - "Now there was a man in Jerusalem called Simeon, who was righteous and devout. He was waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him....Moved by the Spirit, he went into the temple courts. When the parents brought in the child Jesus to do for Him what the custom of the Law required, Simeon took Him in his arms and praised God." And Luke 2:36a, 37 - "There was also a prophetess, Anna....She never left the temple but worshiped night and day, fasting and praying."
Simeon was righteous and devout. The Greek word for devout in this verse is eulabes. The prefix, eu means "well". The rest of the word comes from a Greek word lambano which means "to get hold of". Simeon desired to get a hold of the presence of Christ, and lived in such a way as to make sure he was able to hear from Him and follow Him. As a result, he was tuned into the prompting of the Holy Spirit, Who led him into the physical presence of Christ. In this passage, it also says that God had promised Simeon that he would not die until he had seen Christ, and when he does, his prayer includes the line, "Now let your servant depart in peace". In other words, Christ was all he was living for.
Anna made her home at the Temple and worshiped constantly. Verse 38 says, "And she coming in that instant gave thanks likewise unto the Lord, and spake of him to all them that looked for redemption in Jerusalem." (KJV) Because she dwelt as close as she could to the presence of God and was constantly worshipping God, she was instantly in the physical presence of Christ when He was brought to the Temple.
The application to our lives is very clear to me. We must be living for Christ, always desiring "to get hold of" His manifest presence, living righteously as God enables us. We must also live as close to Him as we can. Continually desiring to be in His presence, in fellowship with Him, so that when His manifest presence comes, or when we enter into corporate worship, we will be able to immediately be in that Holiest Place, immediately worshipping. For me, when I do get into that place of worship, I don't want to leave it and I don't want it to end, which motivates me to live in such a way that I don't have to waste time trying to get back into that place. I just want to be with Him. It reminds me of the chorus of a song (that I can't remember the name of),

I just want to be where You are,
Living daily in Your presence
I don't want to worship from afar
Draw me near to where You are.

Birthdays According to Preston

2008-05-24T13:47:00.003-05:00

This past Thursday was my husband, Preston's, birthday. I have struggled since we were dating to find out how to make his birthday the kind he would really enjoy. My idea of a great birthday is the kind I had last year. A big party with lots of friends and good food, with nothing in particular planned but great fellowship - and maybe a fun game or two. Preston has always maintained that he would prefer a quiet celebration with just the family. Being the understanding, intuitive wife that I am not, I didn't quite believe him and thought he was just trying to make things easier on me by not having to plan anything big. I've thrown him two big parties before, one a surprise and one that he had a hand in planning. Both of them were huge successes, in my opinion.
However, this time, I didn't have time to plan anything. We are going out to dinner with his dad and my parents in a week for it, but I hated the idea of the actual day passing without something special to mark it. I've also been thinking a lot about "Love Languages". Preston's love language is acts of service. So, I decided I would do everything I could to speak his language all day. The kids and I picked up all the toys and things that were laying around our house. (It looked like a Toys'r'us had blown up in there.) I spent a lot of time cleaning our bedroom, putting away clothes, shoes, and the odd toy that wonders in there from time to time. I also put fresh, clean sheets on the bed and turned the sheets down and arranged the pillows that made it so comfortable-looking. I was tempted to crawl into it and take a nap, but there were 3 little ones running around (well, 2 were running, the baby was just lying there watching them). I also turned on the window unit AC that Preston insists on keeping in our room (in case the central AC ever goes out, he says) so that the room would be nice and chilled when he got home from a hot day at work. I had the boys make birthday cards for him, while I prepared the kind of dinner I knew he liked.
When Preston got home, the boys jumped out (they were hiding so that they could jump out and surprise him) and yelled happy birthday and handed him their cards. I greeted him the way a wife should greet her husband every day - especially one like mine who has been standing in harm's way to keep the rest of us safe - with a warm hug and lingering kiss. I must confess I don't always do that. I need to get better at that. While he was relaxing, and dinner was cooking, the boys and I made a cake - a vanilla one because that's his favorite. He didn't know about the cake, so we were able to surprise him with it after supper. We lit the candles and sang "Happy Birthday". (by the way, it's so much more fun to sing that song with 2 very enthusiastic boys singing along with you than to sing it by yourself.) I had noticed throughout the evening that Preston's smile was getting bigger and bigger. After we enjoyed our cake, he thanked me for the best birthday ever! I was shocked. "What about the surprise party or the party when you turned 40?!" I exclaimed. He said, "Those were nice, but this is what I have always wanted for my birthday, just a quiet celebration with my family."
Well, it's only taken 11 years of marriage, but I have finally figured out how to make Preston's birthdays happy ones.

Some thoughts on worship

2008-05-23T22:14:00.000-05:00

God has been teaching me a lot about worship lately, and I would like to share it with you.

John 4:23,24 - "Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth." (NIV)
The Greek word for worship/worshipers in these verses is proskuneo and means "to kiss, like a dog licking the master's hand; to fawn or crouch to; prostrate oneself in homage (do reverence to, adore)". The Greek word for worshiper in these verses means "an adorer".
In our culture, and even in our churches, we have a hard time understanding what worship is. We tend to be very good at praise, though, because we see it everywhere we look - your favorite team scores a touchdown and everyone jumps to their feet and raises their hands, shouting and clapping and rejoicing; at church we always see people standing to their feet and raising their hands in praise to God. Now, granted, once upon a time even that was not seen at church, and I praise the Lord for releasing us from tradition into praise in that sense. However, considering the meaning of the word worship in the verses above, when was the last time you saw that demonstrated - even in church? In order to worship in the way the Father wants us to, we must first become completely humble, which is probably why it is so rare to see true worship. We are not a culture or a people that are very good at being humble. We think conditions have to be the way we want them to be in order to worship. How many times have we said, "Well, I just can't worship with that song" or "The music was awesome today. I really got into the worship!" What worship were we getting into - the worship of the Father, or just the music? True worship is not about music, it's about relationship to the Father. That Greek word for worship has as its prefix, pros, which is a preposition meaning "towards, to, with, along side". If you have really worshipped, you come away not with an appreciation for the music or prayer time or preaching, you come away with an awe for the Heavenly Father and the Lamb of God, and a closer relationship with Him. Worship is when we "see the Lord, high and lifted up, and His train fills the temple."(Is. 6:1) and we realize how lowly and abased we really are.
I was going through Revelation the other day, reading the awesome worship passages that are in it, and I noticed something. Every time it mentions anyone worshipping God/Christ, it says they "fell down and worshipped" or something similar. It goes back to humbling ourselves as I mentioned above. You can't ask for truer or more Spirit-filled worship than the kind that is going on in heaven. Our Worship Pastor at my church is always encouraging us to worship in every Biblical way. So that means if God so moves you to do so, it is perfectly Biblical for you to bow in worship during our services.
Here's my other thought: Worship cannot be forced. There is a progression that must be followed. The pattern of the Tabernacle is our example (disclaimer: I am by no means an expert on the Tabernacle, and it is with much fear and trepidation I even mention it. If I get something important wrong - and everything about the Tabernacle is important - please correct me). In order to enter the gates of the Tabernacle, you had to come through the tribe of Judah. Judah means "praise". In Psalm 100:4 it says, "Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise: be thankful unto Him, and bless His name," Praise is the vehicle that takes us into His gates, but your first stop inside those gates is at the Brazen Altar.One could not enter into the Holy Place without first coming to the Brazen Altar and making atonement for their sins. The Cross is our Brazen Altar, but we need to confess our sins to Christ every time we seek to come into His presence.
The next stop was at the Brass Laver where the priests had to wash with water every time they went into the Holy Place (Tent of Meeting). The Word of God is the water with which we must allow the Spirit to wash us, to be transformed by the renewing of our minds so that we are not conformed to this world. (How many times have we struggled to get into the praise and worship on a Sunday morning because our minds were on something else?) Only then, can we come into the Holy Place, where we feed on the Word of God (table of shewbread), where the Light of Christ (golden lampstand) to direct our path and the Spirit (oil in the lampstand) are, and where the prayers go up (table of incense). Finally, we pass through the curtain that was rent from top to bottom at the death of our Savior (Hallelujah!) and into the Holy of Holies and the very presence of God. And there is where we worship, falling on our faces before the majesty and glory of the Lord Most High.

My First Blog Ever!

2008-05-22T21:03:00.001-05:00

Well, here goes something.. my first attempt at my very own blog. I never thought I would be a blogger, but after reading some friends' blogs and seeing how God is using their gift with words to bless others, and after being encouraged to do this by one of them (thanks, Meredith), I decided to give it a try. Besides, God is doing so much in my life right now, that I need this to help process it all. He amazes me with His incredible love for me, His long-suffering patience with me, and His ability to use me even with all of my flaws, and then there's all the many blessings He has poured into my life. This blog will cover my thoughts from the natural to the supernatural, hence the blog's name, but I hope all of it will glorify my Lord Jesus Christ because He alone is worthy.