Your First Birthday in Heaven

I’ve been dreading this day - your first birthday without you.
We’ve never been big on birthdays
But you’re still supposed to be here for them
So we can call you and tell you how much we love you
And try to make plans to take you to dinner.
But you’re not here, and we don’t know what to do.
How do we honor the day of your birth,
when what weighs on our minds is the day of your death?

But then I remember - since you’re not here, it means you’re in Heaven.
Not based on some empty hope,
But on the blessed assurance that you belong to Jesus.
You called on Him to save you, and said how much you loved Him.
So what birthday plans do they have in Heaven?
Or is everyday so amazing, that a birthday would only get in the way?
Do they instead celebrate the day of your arrival,
the day you were born into Eternity?

For us, it will be a hard day. For you, it will be the best day.
You can’t beat birthdays in Heaven.
Your first birthday with no sorrow, no regret, no disappointment.
We don’t get to spend the day with you,
But you get to spend the day with Jesus.
You’re surrounded by His glory, wrapped in His embrace
You hear the sound of voices lifted up in praise, and see beauty beyond compare
You’re experiencing everything you were created to enjoy.

So while we are sad, wishing to see your face again.
We can’t help but also be filled with an unexplained peace;
Knowing you’re where you were created to be
And that this year your gift is that you’re finally free.
So despite all our heartache
We wouldn’t change a thing
We’ll choose to rejoice through our pain
Because you’re spending your first birthday in Heaven.

Happy Birthday, Mom!

It seems I have a running tradition now to blog about the birthdays of my family or dear friends. So far be it from me to discontinue that for my mom.

My mom's birthday was Sunday, Oct. 12. We celebrated with her at lunch at Cracker Barrell - her favorite restaurant. This birthday was special because a) all three of her children were there at the same time, which was pretty amazing considering everyone's different schedules and b) She now knew that all three children were walking with the Lord - also very amazing considering both of my brothers' pasts. God is so good and faithful. If you are a mom who is desperately praying for a wayward child, don't give up. God hears your prayers and will answer them in His perfect timing and His perfect way. Hallelujah!

My mom is one of the most wonderful people I know. She does not judge anyone, but looks for and expects the best out of them. As a result, she wins friends and influences people quite easily. This is especially true for her kids. We knew that no matter what we did, or what was going on in our lives, she loved us unconditionally and would be our biggest support, our biggest cheerleader, and our best shoulder to cry on. Today, there are people in her life that cling to her whenever they are around her, because her positive attitude towards them and about them are like a breath of fresh air.

Mom was the 4th child born in her family, but the first girl. Years later, another boy was born, so she grew up with 5 brothers. This made her a bit of a tom-boy growing up. Her family was also a poor family (her dad was a mechanic) and so her and her brothers had to create ways to keep themselves entertained. As a result, we had the best, most entertaining childhood. She always encouraged us to use our imaginations. She also knows how to fix just about anything. There is no problem too daunting for her to take on. She spent summers when we were kids cleaning out the area behind our house that was overgrown with a little bit of everything, so we could get to the creek and play in it. She and Dad built one of my first bikes from spare parts - the best bike I ever had.

Now she is just as good a grandmother as she was (and is) a mother. My boys LOVE seeing Grandma, because there is never a dull moment when she is around. Her house is a place of never-ending adventure for them. She still teaches me things through her example - through her way of handling them. Rarely does my mom correct my methods of parenting, but instead knows that actions speak louder than words. Therefore, when she does say something to me - about anything - I pay close attention to her words of advice or admonition.

I could go on, but instead, I will turn this post over to my brother, Rusty, who is a poet (well, he's a rapper whose stage name is Poet). I asked him to come up with a poem in honor of mom for her birthday - 5 minutes ago. Here is what he wrote:

Today is the greatest day cause its the day you came from Heaven, and anybody who gets to know you gets to know a true blessin'. Even though I caused some major stressin when I was headed in the wrong direction, you always prayed for my protection to keep me from God's rejection. If it wasn't for you, I' d still be lost and confused, still runnin through these streets, not knowin' what to do. Now its all right mamma, you can sleep tonight mamma, and allow me to apologize for all of the drama but Im'ma take everything I learned, and use it in turn, to help other people so their soul don't burn. I know my gift of creativity comes from your blood, so does my passion and so does my love. I put nothing above, my respect for my mother and until the end of time there will never be another, that could be so strong and so warm-hearted, but I'm gonna end this now, even though I'm just gettin' started. Happy B'day Momma.

Happy Birthday, Mom! We love you SO very much!!

Thankful Thursdays

My friend, Rachel, has started a new weekly column called, you guessed it, Thankful Thursdays. She encouraged her fellow bloggers to play along. And since I need to be much better at focusing on my blessings in life, I thought this would be a great tool to help me with that.

Today just happens to be my birthday, and so today I am thankful for 31 years of life. It has been a full life, with great times, hard times, and in-between times; with love, laughter, and tears. The Bible says that God has written our days in His book, so the only reason I have had these 31 years, and all the blessings that came with them, is because He willed it. I am thankful that He thought I was worth creating, that He felt the world was missing something, and so He created me to fill that particular void. The Bible also tells us that He created us for "such a time as this." So, I am also thankful that He does have a purpose and a plan for me. I am thankful that I know I am walking in His will and have some idea as to what that purpose is - that's a great feeling!

I am thankful that I know I have eternal life - not in this world, but in one far, far better than anyone can imagine. I am extremely thankful that Jesus Christ died on the Cross - for ME - to give me that eternal life and a relationship with Him in this world. I am thankful that He loves me that much.

I am thankful for my mother, who is the best mom anyone could have. I am thankful that she had the faith to wait on me when it took her a while to get pregnant, and that she had the faith and boldness to ask God for a girl with red hair. I am thankful for how she raised me from the start to obey and love God. My mom was always my biggest supporter and encourager. She loved me when I was difficult to love, and she never stopped believing in God's best for me. She has always been quick to love and quick to speak the Truth in love. And even though she was always my mom first, she has also been my best friend. I am thankful for her and the awesome relationship we have.

And that is my thankful Thursday thought for this week!

Happy Birthday, Meredith!

Okay, so technically your birthday was yesterday, but I ran out of time yesterday, and since I was at your party/game night until midnight last night, I couldn't do it then. So, better late than never.

Meredith and I have been friends since our early high school years. Neither of us can really remember when it started, because it was so gradual and natural. I think it was 10th grade, in Mr. B's homeroom. I am not a morning person, but Mer always made me laugh and start my day out with a smile on my face. She was just that kind of person, she still is.

Our friendship grew, and I have wonderful memories of all the crazy stuff we did in high school. Hanging out at the mall (is that man on the roof following us?), driving around with our other friend (another Jennifer) - and Mer driving "illegally", going to Prom- (is there anything in my braces?). I still laugh over some of those memories.

However, not all of my memories from that time in my life are happy ones. My parents separated and eventually divorced between my junior and senior years. My senior year was incredibly difficult emotionally because of that. But Meredith was one of 2 people that God used to make an oasis for me in their friendship. She listened when I needed to talk. She rarely said much during my rants, but the next day she would hand me a letter she had written, filled with Scripture and encouragement. I still have some of those letters and read them from time to time. You don't know how much those meant to me, Mer. **tear**

Shortly after we graduated from high school, our paths separated for a while. I got married (she was in the wedding of course) and she went off exploring what it meant to be an adult and growing closer to God. We still kept in touch and would meet up for dinner or lunch from time to time. It amazed me, though, that no matter how long it had been or how different our lives were, God was always teaching us basically the same things, and it usually felt like no time had passed since we had seen each other. Meredith also always sent me birthday cards and anniversary cards, every year. Once our friend, the other Jennifer, got married several years ago, and we were both in her wedding, it seems God started slowly bringing our paths back together. We communicated a lot more via email and seeing each other more.

Now, she lives about 15 minutes away, and we meet twice a week to work out. We also get together with other friends and family once a month for a game night. I mentioned in my post about my brother that he is the funniest person I know. Well, Mer is the funnest person I know. She makes everything funner (yes, that's a word because I say it is.) just by being there and being herself. She wants everyone around her to have fun and makes sure no one is left out in her quiet, unassuming way. Her relationship with God amazes me and challenges me, and her unique perspective makes me see things in a way I never thought of, sometimes making an "old" concept new and amazing. I not only enjoy Meredith's friendship, but I also really respect her.

Happy birthday - a day late - my friend. I pray that God would pour out His blessings on your life and that He would grant you the desires of your heart because you obviously delight yourself in Him. I love you, girl!

Happy Birthday Darrell!

Today is my brother, Darrell's, 29th birthday! I have two brothers, Darrell and Rusty, both younger than me. Darrell is the middle child of our family. Growing up I had a love/hate relationship with both of my brothers - meaning sometimes I loved them and sometimes I didn't. (I really never hated them - that's much too strong of a word.) But no matter how irritated I would get with them, if anyone messed with them, or if they needed me for anything, I would be there in a second.

Darrell's life is a testament to the amazing, transforming work of God's grace. In his late teens, he got involved in alcohol and drugs. At that time, our paths didn't cross very often, and when they did, it was awkward at best. I always prayed for God to bring him out of that lifestyle, but I also always prayed that God would protect him. Darrell had a couple of run-ins with law enforcement (that's part of the reason our relationship was so strained - I was married to a police officer!) and he had a gun pulled on him a couple of times by dealers or buyers who didn't like what he had to offer. But he was never jailed and he was never harmed.

Until one night he was arrested for stealing a car for a joy-ride. He was high on something at the time and later told me, "I felt invincible and invisible. Nobody could see me, and if they did, they wouldn't stop me." Well, reality hit him when he was arrested that night for grand theft auto - a felony. I can't remember if he called and told me or if my mom told me. (the weird thing is that I had had a dream not too long before that about Darrell stealing a car and getting arrested for it.) I told mom I wanted to be with her at his court date. There were 2 or 3 court dates, but in the end, he only had to pay a fine, do some community service, and be on probation for a couple of years. He had been so cooperative with the police after his arrest, that the arresting officer actually testified in court to ask for leniency for Darrell! The other reason he was able to get off so light was because it was his first offense. Well, I praised God for that and thought this was the wake-up call he needed. However, Darrell later told me that, "At that point my eyes were opened, but I was still headed down the same path."

Finally, on New Year's Eve 1999, I was at church for a candlelight service when Darrell came to my mind so strongly. I started praying my usual prayer for him - save him, but don't hurt him - when God clearly spoke to me and said, "If you want Me to save him, you're going to have to stop asking for his protection. Allow me to do what needs to be done to get his attention." Well, that scared me a lot because I knew what Darrell "deserved". But I also knew that God had spoken to me, and that He wouldn't allow unnecessary harm to come to him. So I prayed and said, "Lord, right now I am giving you permission to do whatever it takes to get Darrell's attention and to turn his life around. Just please don't take his life - but anything short of that that You need to do, please do." (Yes, I am aware that God doesn't need my permission for anything, but sometimes He gives us exactly what we ask for - in my case, Darrell's protection.)

So, the service ended and a couple of friends and I picked up some pizza and took it to my house to play games, hang out, and bring in the new year. Just at the stroke of midnight, my phone rang. It was one of Darrell's friends calling to tell me he had been arrested again - this time for a failure to appear warrant. Unlike last time, though, when the combination of friends and parents were able to bail him out immediately, there was no one around. His friends were too drunk to care. Both of our parents were out of town, and besides that the banks were closed. Darrell ended up spending 4-5 days in a Hueytown jail because of a misdemeanor. Where before he had committed a felony and walked away. God was letting Darrell know right away that this was His wake-up call. Darrell also had a bad head cold at the time, which made his situation that much more miserable. He called me later that night (I was up because I couldn't sleep once I heard he was in jail), and I had never heard him so broken and miserable. On Sunday we went to see him, which was a horrible thing, to see my brother behind bars. On Tuesday, he was finally released on bail with a scheduled court date to pay off the fines. Darrell came out of that cell a changed person! He immediately quit the drugs, shortly thereafter quit smoking, started going to church (at a place that used to be called the Crossroads Community Church but now is the Downtown Church), and got a job. He gave his life completely over to God! As he describes it, "After the first arrest, my eyes were open but I was still headed the same direction. After the second arrest, God picked me up and made me do a 180." Hallelujah!

Today, 8 years later, Darrell is a sold out God-follower. He has been instrumental in bringing some of his friends from that former lifestyle to Christ by inviting them to church and being a consistent testimony of God's amazing grace. The last 8 years have not been easy on him. He's been through the ordeal of our dad's heart attack and later his stroke, and a couple of years ago he suffered one of the biggest heartaches of his life. But through all of it, he never doubted God's faithfulness and kept his eyes on Him during the long and torturous storm. God brought him through that, too. Today he is a hard-working man with a God-given passion for working with young teenagers, a beloved uncle to my kids, a caring son to his parents - especially to our dad who is now disabled, and he is a brother whom I admire and respect. He's also the funniest person I know. And he is getting married in September to a wonderful, sweet, and godly girl. Only God could have done such a marvelous transformation. Glory to God!!

Darrell, I'm so proud of you. You have been so faithful in your walk with God and trusting Him always. You have been a help to me and an encouragement to me so many times. I am thrilled for you to be marrying such an awesome girl as Cindy, and I pray God will bless the both of you as you seek Him together. Happy Birthday, little brother. I love you!